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Vampire Strangler

USA 1999
produced by
Factory 2000
directed by William Hellfire
starring Misty Mundae (= Erin Brown), William Hellfire, Joey Smack, Lilly Tiger
written by Joey Smack, William Hellfire, cinematography by Joey Smack

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Lydia (Misty Mundae) dreams about a vampire strangling (?) her - repeatedly. In the next scene, she is about 2 years younger, has a completely different, appalling hairdo and gained quite some extra pounds, she phones her cousin Billy (William Hellfire) and tells him she's gonna stay with him. Billy finds that super, and before long, the two decide to intensify their relationship by shagging ... and eventually, Billy decides it would be a good idea to strangle Lydia ...

Then, a satanic shaman (Joey Smack) stops by, signs up Billy for his sect and pours something into his drink. Lydia, who now once again looks like at the beginning of the film, has survived Billy's strangling, and it appears it hasn't even put her off, because now she masturbates a lot.

Billy meanwhile, thanks to the potion the shaman put in his drink, has changed into a vampire - complete with cape and everything. When Lydia sees Billy the Vampire, she immediately wants to shag again, then she asks him to bite her, which he does - which makes one wonder what the whole thing has to do with Lydia's dreams about a vampire strangling her ...

 

What a bad film !

The story of the film of course totally sucks, but this could be excused by the fact that the story as such is little more than a vehicle for the sex scenes - but then the sex scenes are dead boring as well, and Misty Mundae - who has proven in later films that she can both look sexy and act, doesn't look at all good here, more like a stocky country girl with no fashion sense and a bad hairdo left over from the 1980's. And her acting is accordingly bad. Of course, uninspired camerawork, a serious lack of direction and total absence of art direction don't help the film one bit., nor do stupid dialogues and bad sound. And then, what's this about the scenes where Misty looks totally different (and better). Could it be that these scenes were just shot to recycle old material into a new film ? (The answer of course is yes.)

Of course, since this is a no-budget indie production, all of the film's flaws could be excused - but what's really annoying is that nobody seems to m,ake the slightest effort to put any kind of quality into the film, it just seems to go along the lines "We've got a naked girl, the rest will fall together somehow" - which quite frankly, no it doesn't. It's just a piece of shit, and not the good kind of shit.

 

By the way, this film was released in several versions, including one hardcore version - which makes it Misty's only hardcore film (to date ?). However, there is no actual fucking even in the hardcore version, just lots of (unsimulated) fingering and oral sex (with Misty both giving and receiving). The version that is out on DVD from After Hours is the softcore version though, with the harder scenes on the disc too but hidden away in the extras-section. However, even the softcore version, clocking in at a mere 54 minutes, seems to go on forever and is quite a bore.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
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Out now from
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