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Rock and the Money-Hungry Party Girls

USA 1988
produced by
Paul Martin Benson, Kurt MacCarley for Brighton Communications
directed by Kurt MacCarley
starring Paul Secru, Debra Lamb, Monica Lee, Merritt Morgan, Adam Small, Bunty Bailey, Brian Stox, Lou Pampino, Judi M.Durand, Edgar Small, Mary Baldwin, Pat Asanti, Gerald Winn, the Delta Pearls (= Paul Sercu, Tim Coulter, Pat Vilicich, Geg Perry)
written by Mary Baldwin, Kurt MacCarley, Lisa Belbye, music by David Lear

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Stan Link (young version: Brian Stox, old version: Lou Pampino) was the rock sensation of the late 1950's/early 60's ... but then he obviously discovered food, and had eaten himself to death, leaving behind a wife-gone-mad, Brenda (Judi M.Durand), a box of unreleased songs, and a pack of nasal hair - for some reason the only clue leading to the unreleased songs ... and thus the girl gang The Party Girls (Debra Lamb, Monica Lee, Merritt Morgan) are one day hired to steal the nasal hair, but when they break into the Museum of Rock, all they get are some fakes ...

There's one other thing that Stan Link left, actually, his son Rock (Paul Secru), whom he had never seen because Brenda lost him at a parking lot only two days after his birth. Rock did the best he could to become a musician to rival his father's success - but he didn't come even close, so nowadays he works as a private eye and his girlfriend Marley (Bunty Bailey) leaves him because he's an utter failure. But when he's handed the case of Stan Link's nasal hair, it doesn't take him long to trace the real nasal hair down to Brenda (who he doesn't yet know is his mother) ... but from here on it goes only downhill, because not only is Brenda pretty protective of the nasal hair, also one of the Party Girls, Mais (Debra Lamb), will use everything in her power from hypnosis to tits to ensure he does her bidding - which almost ruins every chance for Rock to reunite with Marley forever.

In the end though, and for no discernible reason, everything comes out just fine, Rock's manager (Adam Small) ends up with Stan Link's lost songs and as a thank you gives Rock the break of his lifetime, and Rock doesn't come only back together again with Marley, he also finally gets to know his mother Brenda ...

 

This could have been great! The premise sounds extra promising ... just think about it, an Elvis-like bigger-than-life (in every sense of the word) rockstar, three gorgeous babes/criminals, nudity and ... well, nasal hair. And yet the film is a complete bore, especially lacking in the plot department, where narrative buildup is sacrificed for an extended-to-breaking-point set-up and nothing much to build on it, all "garnered" by several videoclip-like musical numbers that bring the action to a screeching halt every now and again, and an ill-adviced emphasis on the romantic aspects of the plot. Well, at least the three gorgeous girls are really gorgeous, but that's hardly enough to save a film, now is it?

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD