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Plan 9 from Aliexpress

Russia 2022
produced by
Diana Galimzyanova
directed by Diana Galimzyanova
starring Ekaterina Dar, Elizaveta Shulyak, Lilit Karapetyan, Diana Galimzyanova, Roksolana Karpeko, Antjelina Aganina, Anton Medov, Vsevolod Lisovskiy, Kolya Neukoelln, Sergey Troshchenkov, Anna Abonisimova, Lena Tumanova, Juha Mäkinen, Stanislav Skakun (voice), Marina Kharakterova, Danya Orlovsky, Andrey Sirobaba, Anastasiya Popkova, Evgeniya Belyakova, Vanda Nikolaeva, Lena Zaykina, Lev Nikitin, Varvara Strange, Art Strange, Anastasia Chernetsova, Fedor Hiroshige, Anastasia Kvitko, Victoria Sobol, Evgeniya Milyaeva, Evgeny Pechenkin (voice), Anastasia Belova, Dana Frider, Elena Chernyshova, Anna Molkanova, Lyosha Moiseev, Denis Semyonov, Victor Zhdanov, Nadezhda Lisovskaya, Valeria Titova, Bogdan Bonchuk, Dmitriy Efremov, Lera Savkina, Vitaly Fedorov, Mariya Shlyapina, Artem Tokmakov, Veronika Vernadskaya, Vladimir Mogilevskiy, Anastasia Ivanova, Tatiana Sirius, Katya Bondarenko, Anna Kharlamova, Nu Simakina, Ekaterina Afirekova, Adele Kolodkina, Marina Boyko, Rufina Berg, Magdalena Barbara Tarasova
written by Diana Galimzyanova, music by Kirill King

review by
Mike Haberfelner

A princess (alternatingly played by Ekaterina Dar, Elizaveta Shulyak and Lilit Karapetyan) only wants to kill herself - but Prince Charming (Anton Medov) steals the rope she wanted to hang herself with, mostly because she has to go on a hero's journey (or heroine's journey as she insists), which is also why she's forbidden to buy a new rope at the supermarket, as the rope will serve as her journey's macguffin - even if sometimes it's also her (and all other characters) looking for the ever elusive trolley or bus line 54, and at times she exchanges "magical" items with other characters while walking a countryside made up of dilapitated buildings, ruins and trash dumps, characters including an evil wizard (Vsevolod Lisoskiy), time traveling vampire detectives (Andrey Sirobaba, Anbastasiya Popkova), time traveling werewolf detectives (Varvara Strange, Art Strange), a serialkiller (Victor Zhdanov) who refuses to kill her because she's the heroine and the movie's only half finished, an alien (Bogdan Bonchuk) she falls in love with, a rather unconvincing Centaur (Veronica Vernadskaya), a mermaid (Nu Simakina), a zombie unicorn (Ekaterina Afirekova), and even the grim reaper (Magdalena Barbara Tarasova), who insists she's not an hommage to The Seventh Seal, always followed by a long-armed ghost (Diana Galimzyanova) only she can see ...A princess (alternatingly played by Ekaterina Dar, Elizaveta Shulyak and Lilit Karapetyan) only wants to kill herself - but Prince Charming (Anton Medov) steals the rope she wanted to hang herself with, mostly because she has to go on a hero's journey (or heroine's journey as she insists), which is also why she's forbidden to buy a new rope at the supermarket, as the rope will serve as her journey's MacGuffin - even if sometimes it's also her (and all other characters) looking for the ever elusive trolley or bus line 54, and at times she exchanges "magical" items with other characters taken from various myths, movies and videogames while walking a countryside made up of dilapitated buildings, ruins and trash dumps, characters including an evil wizard (Vsevolod Lisoskiy), time traveling vampire detectives (Andrey Sirobaba, Anbastasiya Popkova), time traveling werewolf detectives (Varvara Strange, Art Strange), a serialkiller (Victor Zhdanov) who refuses to kill her because she's the heroine and the movie's only half finished, an alien (Bogdan Bonchuk) she falls in love with, a rather unconvincing Centaur (Veronica Vernadskaya), a mermaid (Nu Simakina), a zombie unicorn (Ekaterina Afirekova), and even the grim reaper (Magdalena Barbara Tarasova), who insists she's not an hommage to The Seventh Seal, always followed by a long-armed ghost (Diana Galimzyanova) only she can see ...

 

Now this synopsis does this movie very little justice, as it's an intentional jumble of characters and tropes from various myths, movies and videogames, a jumble that, true to the film's tagline "you won't understand a thing" doesn't make too much sense - and at the same time makes good fun of storytelling techniques that have regrettably established themselves in all sorts of mainstream media and dumbed it down quite a bit, from the by now tired and tiring "hero's journey" to incredibly high stakes, pointless macguffins to obligatory Easter eggs. But that said, this film is not some sort of brainheavy meta movie or anything like that but a pretty mad comedy carried by humour reminiscent of Monty Python's Flying Circus, held together exactly by the fact that nothing really holds the story together, and brought to life clearly in on the joke having the time of their lives. A very unusual film for sure, but a very worthwhile one.

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
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special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
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Tales to Chill
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Out now from
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