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Opie Gets Laid

USA 2005
produced by
Christopher Gosch, James Ricardo, Rogina, Heidemarie Fuentes (executive) for The Company Pictures
directed by James Ricardo
starring James Ricardo, April Wade, Ute Werner, Jesselynn Desmond, Gina De Vettori, Samantha Turk, Heidemarie Fuentes, Mark Wood, Hutchi Hancock, Ellen Hughes, Peter Fedde, Michael L. Connelly, Laith Arasaf, Chris Mitchell, Rob Lanza
written by James Ricardo

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Opie (James Ricardo) is pretty much your typical loser, he has no friends, is unemployed, a science fiction and videogame geek, obsessed with porn, he wears the same outfit every day and lives solely on pizza and burgers - and he has given up all hope to ever amount to anything, including having sex with a girl.

Enter young drugdealer Thai (April Wade), who only shows up at his place because she has a wrong address at first - but she soon comes to like Opie and decides to try to hook him up with a woman via the internet. That doesn't work, but somehow, she and Opie land in bed together - and before you know it they have a sexual relationship.

What Thai has forgotten to tell Opie though is that she already is in a relationship, with butch lesbian Dakota (Ute Werner) - and Dakota doesn't hesitate to beat him up once she finds out. Thing is, Dakota feels drawn to Opie as well, and soon the two of them land in bed together, too. Thing is, they do it behind Thai's back - with whom Opie still has sex as well -, and when she finds out, it's big breakup time.

It seems Opie is back where he started, a loser with no girlfriend and a porn obsession. Then though, he meets Rain (Jesselynn Desmond), a woman he has met on an internet dating site who has really low standards - and for a woman with lowered expectations, Opie doesn't do too badly. So before you know it, the two of them land in bed and start having a relationship. Problem is, both Thai and Dakota return to Opie (without the respective other knowing about it), and he's too weak to turn them down and beds both of them repeatedly besides having a relationship with Rain.

Thanks to a spiteful ex, all three women find out about what Opie is doing behind their respective backs, and they demand a resolution to the situation. All Opie manages to suggest though is to meet and bed them in shifts, not so much because he is such a macho who regards himself irresistible but because he's weak, indecisive - and dating three women pretty much at the same time doesn't sound too bad, now does it?

Opie's three girlfriends leave him furiously and vow to never speak to him again, but before the week is over, all three have returned, and he meets them in shifts.

Everything goes well for a while, but the whole situation is in a delicate balance, and when Opie starts seeing his neighbour Randi (Samantha Turk) on the side - not for sex, just for conversation -, his three girlfriends get jealous, especially because Randi has so much more in common with Opie than any of them ... and as a result, Randi gets hospitalized by the girls, and once out, her first way is to Opie to kick him in the groin.

However, the whole situation between Opie and his three girls is still unresolved - but when they demand a decision on who he's going to go steady with, he kicks them all out and prefers to get his old life back ...


Opie Gets Laid has all the ingredients of a complete mess of a cheesy romantic comedy - but it has actually turned out to be a pretty entertaining film, a low budget flick that doesn't try to transport any conservative messages on its back and tries to force a happy ending onto its story, instead it tells a simple story with many fun twists filled with well-written and well-played characters carried by intelligent, subtle humour instead of badly conceived slapstick.

Very enjoyable!


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
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... and for the life of it,
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A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD