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Night of the Tentacles
Heart Attack

USA 2012
produced by
Dustin Mills for Dustin Mills Productions
directed by Dustin Mills
starring Brandon Salkil, Nicole Gerity, Melissa Blair, Michael Blair, Jackie McKown, Eugene Flynn, Dustin Mills, Josh Eal
written by Dustin Mills, songs by Talor Joal, Lee Costello, creature designed by Jackie McKown, Dustin Mills, creature, makeup and visual effects by Dustin Mills Productions

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Twenty-something Dave (Brandon Salkil) has suffered a heart attack masturbating to the sounds of his pregnant pretty downstairs neighbour Esther (Nicole Gerity) masturbating. Now he knows his life hangs on a threat, especially since he knows he will hear her get off again and will want to wank to it again. This is though when Lucifer pays him a visit, offering him an immortal heart in a box, which will keep him alive as long as he looks after it well. Of course, Dave agrees, and of course, he doesn't read the fine print.

... and of course, the heart wants to be fed meat, human meat to be precise, and the fineprint of Dave's contract clearly states he is obliged to kill two people a week. The first two victims are not even a problem, Dave's nagging upstairs neighbour (Jackie McKown), who threatened to kill his dog, and the creepy landlord (Dustin Mills) - but the heart in the box (that talks by the way) isn't quite satisfied with the latter choice and eats Dave's dog instead ... which he finds nothing short of devastating.

However, Dave's new lease on life also has a good side, Dave finally gets together with Esther, and has to realize that the woman of his wet dreams is just another lost soul, very much like him, and the two of them relate on many levels and to fall in love.

But there's still this business with Lucifer, which demands two kills each week, and the only way to wriggle out of this is to sacrifice Esther and her unborn baby to the heart. Dave though helps her to escape and instead faces the heart, which has since grown into a tentacled monster, in a fight to the death ...

 

Night of the Tentacles is best described as a low(-to-no) budget wonder, as objectively the film seems to be hampered by its lack of funds every step along the way: It's mostly restricted to just one apartment and a very limited number of actors, the special effects are very basic, the monster looks less than convincing ... and it's just great: Basically, a cleverly written screenplay (that's vaguely reminiscent of Little Shop of Horrors by the way), an approach that balances out tongue-in-cheek humour with real shocks, fun dialogue and a great cast easily butter over all inconsistencies and make this one something close to an instant cult gem.

Totally recommended!

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD