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Ilsa, la Tigresse Siberie

Ilsa, the Tigress of Siberia

USA 1977
produced by
Ivan Reitman, Roger Corman for Mount Everest Enterprises/New World
directed by Jean LaFleur
starring Dyanne Thorne, Michel-René Labelle, Gilbert Beaumont, Jean-Guy Latour, Ray Landry, Terry Haig, Jacques Morin, Henry Gamer, Jorma Lindqvist, Gil Viviano
written by Marven McGara


review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Ilsa (Dyanne Thorne) is this time heading a Gulag (prison camp) in Siberia 1953. Of course she is up to her old tricks again & tortures her prisoners at her own convenience, & those extremely difficult to break she just throws to her pet-tigers. The night she spends being shagged by always a couple of her prison guards (who fight over her). Life can be so beautiful ... but then Stalin dies, & in the chaos that ensues after his death it becomes clear to Ilsa that she can't keep running a this gulag the way she wants it to - so she burns it down, & the prisoners with it ... only one of them, revolutionary Andrej survives the ordeal rather by chance, as he was supposed to end up as tiger fodder ...

1977: As a guard, Andrej has accompanied the Sowjet hockey team to Canada, & on the final night in freedom, 2 of the players persuade Andrej to let them go to a brothel - but he comes with them to make sure they don't escape.

But the brothel is run by Ilsa (who hasn't aged one day in the 24 years since the Gulag), who is of course up to her old tricks again - considering torture & violence -, & when she spots Andrej she has him immediately captured & submitted to her new brainwashing device that can find out a man's greatest fear (to noone's real surprise, Andrej's greatest fear is castration - you wouldn't have needed no fancy machne to find that out, now would you).

But when report of Andrej's disappearence is sent back to Moscow, General Visaroff, whose son Ilsa has killed 24 years ago & who thirsts for revenge, sends a SWAT team to Canada to attack & destroy Ilsa's cute little outfit.

She escapes the attack on a snowbike, but Andrej, freed by his comrades, follows close behind ... until he finds her, her snowbike crashed, her leg broken, on the middle of a frozen lake, & when she pleads for help, he just leaves her out there, unable to move, with the ice slowly melting ...


The third (& most boring) of the not-so-great Ilsa series, that, even more than its predecessors, does not keep up to its promises, as it goes about its sex, torture & violence (key elements of any such film) rather uninspired & at one time does give up Ilsa's comicbook-sadism altogether ibn favour of a conventinal (& very dull) action-showdown.


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD