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Girls Just Wanna Have Blood
Teenage Bloodsuckin' Bimbos

USA 2019
produced by
Anthony Catanese, Sara Casey, Jeff Stewart, Joseph Kuzemka (executive), Robin Bukhari (executive), Scott Miller (executive) for D.I.Why? Films
directed by Anthony Catanese
starring Amanda Renee, Destyne Marshai, Penny Praline, Gigi Gustin, Craig Kelly, Sam Meola, Bettina Skye, Kirk Ponton, Quentin Carpenter, Chrissy Cavallo, Dana Ackerman, Leia Nazario, David M. Sitbon, Nick Guzman, Travis Frank, John Evans, Ryan Ross, Vince Lockett, Mike Portlock, Holly Feehan, Gretchen Glitz, Stacy Pierce, Theresa Haygen, Ilene Sullivan, Allan Sconza, Scott Miller, Jeff Alpert, Salvatore Bua, Jay Miller, Billy Foster, Molly Prower, Lehze Flax, Maria Bua, Richard Bebe, Ralph J. Cobert, Raymond Strife, Marc Zdon, Trevor Sycamore, Reese George
written by Anthony Catanese, music supervisor: Drew Rizzo, makeup effects by Meagan Alexandria Impellizzeri, Amanda Stauss

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Jessica (Amanda Renee) is fed up with her life: Her white trash mother Lucy (Bettina Skye) has pretty much left her in charge of her baby brother, is drunk most of the time, and is the whore of the local biker club, she's the most unpopular girls at school, and she has no friends. But enter Trish (Destyne Marshai), April (Penny Praline) and Stacy (Gigi Gustin), who might have teased her a bit when first they first met, but they help her when she has a minor accident, and soon help her have her revenge on the girls who bully her at school (Chrissy Cavallo, Dana Ackerman, Leia Nazario). Only their style of revenge exceeds what Jessica had in mind by far, as the three girls are vampires and just feed on the bullies' blood. But the three genuinely like Jessica, so they, with her permission, turn her into one of them. And they soon move in with Jessica as well, as they can feed on the guys Jessica's mum brings home every night, and nobody seems to miss them once they're gone. Only one guy does miss them, Blanks (Sam Meola), president of the local biker chapter who has just spent two months in prison, and is rather surprised to see his whole gang gone since. And soon everybody still standing remembers that those gone were all last seen with Lucy. Lucy meanwhile has the umpteenth fall-out with Jessica, but this time Jessica kills her - but then is shocked about what she has done, throws out her vampire friends and tries to kill herself exposing herself to the sunlight - but is saved by neighbourboy Stink (Quentin Carpenter), who has been in love with her for years. But that's hardly the end of her problems, as now she's not only at odds with her vampire friends, Blanks has also grown wise to what has been going on in her house and has called all rivaling biker chapters to destroy this threat to biker-kind, and there's also a vampire hunter (Craig Kelly) who (figuratively speaking) wants her blood, so she has her work cut out for her ...

 

Girls Just Wanna Have Blood is basically a throwback movie to straight-to-video teen horror from the 1980s and early 90s (with variations surviving well into the 2000s) with its combination of teenage angst, blunt horror, mild titilation and often crude comedy, something that's mirrored not only in story but also looks and soundtrack - and as a throwback it works rather nicely, it's remarkably free of post-modern reinterpretation or "updating" the material for the 21st century, but thrives to be what these movies of old often were - fun rides and excellent ways to pass the time, even if they might be forgotten in a few days time. And Girls Just Wanna Have Blood sure succeeds in being good (if not especially profound) genre entertainment, basically a fun way to pass an hour and a half.

 

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review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD