In his gouvernment-funded lab, Dr Chuchfield (Brad Milne) creates zombies, the new supersoldiers, if you will - but before you know it, the experiment gets out of hands, and a special squad is sent in to get the situation under control - but as you can imagine, one of the zombies gets out and finds shelter in a neighbouring underground stripclub - where he soon enough bites top stripper Kat (Jenna Jameson) ... but while the zombie-infection seems to turn men into lumbering idiots, it turns women into superstrippers - and thus, Kat becomes a hit with the audience of the club. Thing is, she tends to bite one member of the audience after each performance (and zombify him in the process), but sleazy club owner Ian (Robert Englund) figures she's still good for the business, and he just locks away the zombies in a cage in the basement.

With Kat having become such a hit, other girls want to be zombified as well, and soon, Ian threatens his live (as opposed to undead) strippers with firing them. Of course, the zombies in the basement eventually get out and it's getting pretty nasty, but after much mayhem and Kat involved in a zombie-stripper on zombie-stripper catfight, the special squad comes in and resolves the situation ...

Obviously taking cues from Tobe Hooper's less than great Masters of Horror-episode Dance of the Dead (even starring Robert Englund in a similar role) and Peter Jackson's Braindead, Zombie Strippers is actually pretty funny - but without being nearly as extreme, as biting or as inventive as it could have been: There are attempts at satire, but they don't seem to be necessarily thought through, the violence apart from a few scenes is gross but run-of-the-mill, and the directorial effort is good craftmanship, but it lacks any spark of originality. What remains is a topless Jenna Jameson rapidly turning into a zombie, intentionally ham performances (first and foremost the dependable Robert Englund), racial sereotypes played to their politically incorrect extremes they can't be taken seriously anymore (first and foremost Joey Medina as Mexican cleaner), and jokes that range from ok to pretty good - now this is all better than nothing, and you will be entertained, just don't expect a masterpiece or even a film as offensive as its title might suggest ...

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
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