Hot Picks

- There's No Such Thing as Zombies 2020

- Ready for My Close Up 2019

- Little Lucha and The Big Deal 2024

- Angels Fallen: Warriors of Peace 2024

- The Crippled Masters 1979

- Midnight Taxi 2024

- Dogman Territory: Werewolves in the Land Between the Lakes 2024

- Berta 2024

- Spirit of Friendship 2024

- The Lady of the Lake 2024

- DreadClub: Vampire's Verdict 2024

- Love Kills 2024

- Rally Caps 2024

- All Happy Families 2023

- Last Night on Earth 2024

- Revenge Tour 2024

- The Culture of Hip Hop: The Staten Island Story - Part 3 2024

- Jennie, Wife/Child 1968

- Creatures of Habit 2024

- In the Dreams of Those with Unblinking Eyes 2024

- Tell That to the Winter Sea 2024

- The Magic of Santa Claus 2024

- Little Deaths 2023

- Graveyard Shark 2024

- Alien Outbreak 2020

- The Kingdom by the Sea 2024

- Common Law Wife 1963

- Dance Rivals 2024

- The Exorcism 2024

- Inheritance 2024

- Hundreds of Beavers 2023

- The After Dark 2024

- For Prophet 2024

- #ChadGets-TheAxe 2022

- The Guyver 1991

- Double Exposure 2024

- Live One 2024

- Queen Rising 2024

- The G 2023

- Talk of the Dead 2016

- Midnight Feature 2024

- Deadland 2023

- The Red Lips of the Octopus 2023

- A Gangster's Kiss 2024

- Homework 1982

- Vindication Swim 2024

- Bermondsey Tales: Fall of the Roman Empire 2024

- As I Believe the World to Be 2023

- 2015: Future Uncertain 2024

- Guy Friends 2024

- First Impressions Can Kill 2017

- A Killer Conversation 2014

- Star Crash 1979

- Strangler of the Swamp 1946

Sasquatch Assault
Assault of the Sasquatch

USA 2009
produced by
Andrew Gernhard, M. Sridharan, Bonnie Farley-Lucas (executive), Richard J.Lucas (executive), Ragavan Padmanathan (executive) for Vijaya Cine Enterprises, Synthetic Cinema International
directed by Andrew Gernhard
starring Kevin Shea, Greg Nutcher, Sarah J.Ahearn, Cristina Santiago, Andrea Sáenz, Alex Exum, Hank Torrance, Jason Criscoulo, Cuyle Carvin, Shawn C.Phillips, M. Kelley, Michael Wrann, Sari Gagnon, Paul Melluzzo, J.Matthew Root, Kerry McGann, Leo Petry, John Randall
written by John Doolan, music by Matthew Llewellyn, creature created by Ben Chester

Sasquatch a.k.a. Bigfoot

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Quick Links

Abbott & Costello

The Addams Family

Alice in Wonderland

Arsène Lupin

Batman

Bigfoot

Black Emanuelle

Bomba the Jungle Boy

Bowery Boys

Bulldog Drummond

Captain America

Charlie Chan

Cinderella

Deerslayer

Dick Tracy

Dr. Mabuse

Dr. Orloff

Doctor Who

Dracula

Edgar Wallace made in Germany

Elizabeth Bathory

Emmanuelle

Fantomas

Flash Gordon

Frankenstein

Frankie & Annette Beach Party movies

Freddy Krueger

Fu Manchu

Fuzzy

Gamera

Godzilla

Hercules

El Hombre Lobo

Incredible Hulk

Jack the Ripper

James Bond

Jekyll and Hyde

Jerry Cotton

Jungle Jim

Justine

Kekko Kamen

King Kong

Laurel and Hardy

Lemmy Caution

Lobo

Lone Wolf and Cub

Lupin III

Maciste

Marx Brothers

Miss Marple

Mr. Moto

Mister Wong

Mothra

The Munsters

Nick Carter

OSS 117

Phantom of the Opera

Philip Marlowe

Philo Vance

Quatermass

Robin Hood

The Saint

Santa Claus

El Santo

Schoolgirl Report

The Shadow

Sherlock Holmes

Spider-Man

Star Trek

Sukeban Deka

Superman

Tarzan

Three Mesquiteers

Three Musketeers

Three Stooges

Three Supermen

Winnetou

Wizard of Oz

Wolf Man

Wonder Woman

Yojimbo

Zatoichi

Zorro

Available on DVD!

To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat (commissions earned)

Always make sure of DVD-compatibility!!!


A bearhunter (Kevin Shea) is brought into an undermanned police precinct for questioning - but unfortunately, his truck is hauled in as well - unfortunately because the truck doesn't contain the usual dead bears but a real life sasquatch (Jason Criscoulo) the hunter has captured for some rich bastard to hunt. However, once at the police station, the sasquatch breaks out and puts the precinct under siege.

Inside, you find all the usual suspects: the widowed cop (Greg Nutcher), his teenaged daughter (Sarah J.Ahearn), his loyal partner (Cristina Santiago), the guy who widowed him (Alex Exum), the klutzy cop (Cuyle Carvin), the sexy but tough-as-nails secretary (Andrea Sáenz), and so on and so forth. Eventually, the sasquatch manages to enter the precinct, and now he starts killing people left and right, until he catches up with the hunter who has captured him, and he has his revenge on the bastard. Then he returns to the forest he was found him, without hurting the three sole survivors on his way out.

Oh, and the three survivors are (no surprise here) the widowed cop, his daughter and his partner.

 

As the title of this film pretty much suggests, this is a monstermovie take on John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13 - only without any of that movie's ingenuity. While Carpenter managed to fill his film's skeletal plot with interesting characters and plottwists and made it a point to create tension and suspense pretty much nonstop, this film is merely overpopulated with clichéed characters having clichéed dialogues and doing clichéed things, the murder scenes and even the order they appear in just follow your typical slasher formula (so much so that there is no question of who's going to die, who's going to survive), and if all that didn't yet kill the film, the very cheap sasquatch-cosutme, that looks like something out of a 1940's B picture and that's pulled into plain sight way too often in the movie, surely sinks it.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

Feeling lucky?
Want to
search
any of my partnershops yourself
for more, better results?
(commissions earned)

The links below
will take you
just there!!!

Find Sasquatch Assault
at the amazons ...

USA  amazon.com

Great Britain (a.k.a. the United Kingdom)  amazon.co.uk

Germany (East AND West)  amazon.de

Looking for imports?
Find Sasquatch Assault here ...

Thailand  eThaiCD.com
Your shop for all things Thai


Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!