Hot Picks

- There's No Such Thing as Zombies 2020

- Ready for My Close Up 2019

- The Final Frame 2025

- Snake Creek 2025

- The Gift That Gives 2024

- Unnatural Causes 2025

- Son 2025

- Frenzy Moon 2025

- Lost: A Champion's Story 2025

- Sex Diva 2024

- Strangers in a Car Park 2025

- Hunger 2025

- Inertia 2025

- Valley of the Shadow of Death 2024

- The Huntsman 1993

- All I Want for Christmas Is You 2025

- The Best Company 2023

- Asteroid Vixens 2025

- A Time for Sunset 2025

- Vampire Hooker Hotel 2018

- A Chrismystery 2025

- Clean House 2024

- Long Shadows 2025

- American Clown 2025

- Shimmer 2024

- Borley Rectory: The Awakening 2025

- Beneath the Light 2025

- Someone Dies! 2024

- A Deal 2025

- Stinger 2025

- Double Trouble 2015

- Tried by Fire 2025

- Reunion 2025

- Victoria 2022

- The Boat 2022

- Out of My Comfort Zone 2023

- Lying in Wait 2025

- The Kitchen Brigade 2022

- Prisoner of War 2025

- The Tub 2003

- Vielleicht besser so 2025

- Dariuss 2023

- Sincerely Saul 2025

- Strange Harvest 2024

- Inthralled 2025

- Take from Me 2025

- 1001 Crowns for My Head 2025

- She's the He 2025

- Shepherd Code: Road Back 2025

- Forgive Us All 2025

- Killer Content 2025

- Dogma 1999

- Snake Resort 2024

- Three Days or Else 2024

- In Vitro 2024

- The Lucky Bucks 2025

- The Draft 2023

- Scurry 2024

- Zombies of the Third Reich 2025

- How to Kill Your Family on Christmas 2025

- A Mother's Embrace 2024

- The Cellar 2024

- Talk of the Dead 2016

- A Killer Conversation 2014

- First Impressions Can Kill 2017

- Star Crash 1979

- Strangler of the Swamp 1946

Sasquatch Assault
Assault of the Sasquatch

USA 2009
produced by
Andrew Gernhard, M. Sridharan, Bonnie Farley-Lucas (executive), Richard J.Lucas (executive), Ragavan Padmanathan (executive) for Vijaya Cine Enterprises, Synthetic Cinema International
directed by Andrew Gernhard
starring Kevin Shea, Greg Nutcher, Sarah J.Ahearn, Cristina Santiago, Andrea Sáenz, Alex Exum, Hank Torrance, Jason Criscoulo, Cuyle Carvin, Shawn C.Phillips, M. Kelley, Michael Wrann, Sari Gagnon, Paul Melluzzo, J.Matthew Root, Kerry McGann, Leo Petry, John Randall
written by John Doolan, music by Matthew Llewellyn, creature created by Ben Chester

Sasquatch a.k.a. Bigfoot

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Quick Links

Abbott & Costello

The Addams Family

Alice in Wonderland

Arsène Lupin

Batman

Bigfoot

Black Emanuelle

Bomba the Jungle Boy

Bowery Boys

Bulldog Drummond

Captain America

Charlie Chan

Cinderella

Deerslayer

Dick Tracy

Dick Turpin

Dr. Mabuse

Dr. Orloff

Doctor Who

Dracula

Edgar Wallace made in Germany

Elizabeth Bathory

Emmanuelle

Fantomas

Flash Gordon

Frankenstein

Frankie & Annette Beach Party movies

Freddy Krueger

Fu Manchu

Fuzzy

Gamera

Godzilla

Hercules

El Hombre Lobo

Incredible Hulk

Jack the Ripper

James Bond

Jekyll and Hyde

Jerry Cotton

Jungle Jim

Justine

Kamen Rider

Kekko Kamen

King Kong

Laurel and Hardy

Lemmy Caution

Lobo

Lone Wolf and Cub

Lupin III

Maciste

Marx Brothers

Miss Marple

Mr. Moto

Mister Wong

Mothra

The Munsters

Nick Carter

OSS 117

Phantom of the Opera

Philip Marlowe

Philo Vance

Quatermass

Robin Hood

The Saint

Santa Claus

El Santo

Schoolgirl Report

The Shadow

Sherlock Holmes

Spider-Man

Star Trek

Sukeban Deka

Superman

Tarzan

Three Mesquiteers

Three Musketeers

Three Stooges

Three Supermen

Winnetou

Wizard of Oz

Wolf Man

Wonder Woman

Yojimbo

Zatoichi

Zorro

Available on DVD!

To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat (commissions earned)

Always make sure of DVD-compatibility!!!


A bearhunter (Kevin Shea) is brought into an undermanned police precinct for questioning - but unfortunately, his truck is hauled in as well - unfortunately because the truck doesn't contain the usual dead bears but a real life sasquatch (Jason Criscoulo) the hunter has captured for some rich bastard to hunt. However, once at the police station, the sasquatch breaks out and puts the precinct under siege.

Inside, you find all the usual suspects: the widowed cop (Greg Nutcher), his teenaged daughter (Sarah J.Ahearn), his loyal partner (Cristina Santiago), the guy who widowed him (Alex Exum), the klutzy cop (Cuyle Carvin), the sexy but tough-as-nails secretary (Andrea Sáenz), and so on and so forth. Eventually, the sasquatch manages to enter the precinct, and now he starts killing people left and right, until he catches up with the hunter who has captured him, and he has his revenge on the bastard. Then he returns to the forest he was found him, without hurting the three sole survivors on his way out.

Oh, and the three survivors are (no surprise here) the widowed cop, his daughter and his partner.

 

As the title of this film pretty much suggests, this is a monstermovie take on John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13 - only without any of that movie's ingenuity. While Carpenter managed to fill his film's skeletal plot with interesting characters and plottwists and made it a point to create tension and suspense pretty much nonstop, this film is merely overpopulated with clichéed characters having clichéed dialogues and doing clichéed things, the murder scenes and even the order they appear in just follow your typical slasher formula (so much so that there is no question of who's going to die, who's going to survive), and if all that didn't yet kill the film, the very cheap sasquatch-cosutme, that looks like something out of a 1940's B picture and that's pulled into plain sight way too often in the movie, surely sinks it.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

Feeling lucky?
Want to
search
any of my partnershops yourself
for more, better results?
(commissions earned)

The links below
will take you
just there!!!

Find Sasquatch Assault
at the amazons ...

USA  amazon.com

Great Britain (a.k.a. the United Kingdom)  amazon.co.uk

Germany (East AND West)  amazon.de

Looking for imports?
Find Sasquatch Assault here ...

Thailand  eThaiCD.com
Your shop for all things Thai


Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!