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Messalina: The Virgin Empress
Messalina: Kaiserin und Hure

Italy 1996
produced by
Annabel Nelson (executive) for Butterfly Motion Pictures
directed by Joe D'Amato (= Aristide Massaccesi)
starring Kelly Trump, Backey Jakic, Olivia Del Rio, Hakan Serbes, Jessica Gabriel, Laura Lee, Ursula Moore, Valeria Horj, Roberto Malone, Silvio Evangelista, Steve Amber, Eros Cristaldi, Boris Bianco
written by Joe D'Amato (= Aristide Massaccesi, as Lynn Clark)


review by
Mike Haberfelner

Ancient Rome: Upon seeing his cousin's wife Messalina (Kelly Trump) taking a "bath" with two of her female slaves, Claudius (Backey Jakic) first bribes his way into her quarters to shag her, then denounces his own wife (Ursula Moore) to marry her. As luck has it, the Emperor Caligula is assassinated soon afterwards, and he's the successor to the throne, which sounds great to her as she has always wanted to be empress. But with Claudius then dedicating all his time to affairs of state, she's quick to cheat on him ... big time - so much so that Claudius puts his servant Narcissus (Silvio Evangelista) on her as a watchdog. But an empress as horny as Messalina won't have any way stand in the way of the orgies she so enjoys. When Claudius then puts her under heavy guards, she leaves the palace through a secret passage to visit a tavern frequented by whores to pose as one of them ... and have a gangbang even. But of course, she's caught by one of her husband's men Gaius (Hakan Serbes), who bribes her into sex ... but the two fall in love. So the first order of the day of course is to get rid of Narcissus - which somehow involves Messalina having sex with him for Claudius catching them red-handed and executing Narcissus for raping her. Then Gaius and Messalina have sex, and ... and it's over, all of a sudden.


In his high time in the late 1970s/early 80s, director Joe D'Amato had a good hand for making controversial movies, be they of a violent and/or a secual nature, and his Caligula: The Untold Story bears proud witness of that. This one here, like Caligula: The Untold Story a latter day peplum, is basically just a hardcore porn movie, with its historical context only serving as hanger for many a sex scene, and the narration only paper-thin to not get in the way of all the shagging, and lacking any kind of spirit - which is a shame actually, because occasionally, D'Amato had proven himself quite a capable director when it came to narrative porn - but with this one, no. On the plus side of course, Kelly Trump gives it her all, sexually, serving three guys at once in one scene and doing plenty of anal, and the other girls are quite good lookers - just don't expect any more than a fuckathon in Ancient Roman costumes ...


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review © by Mike Haberfelner


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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.


There's No Such Thing as Zombies
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry


directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke


now streaming at


Amazon UK





Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from