Renate (Karin G�tz) & Bernd (Mathis B�ttcher) are at it, when her parents (Enzi Fuchs, Morgens von Gadow), come back home & catch them in the act. Unfortunately, Renate gets a cramp from the excitement, & Bernd gets stuck inside her. Panicking, the parents decide to take the 2 to the hospital in their van. On the way there, though, Renate is relieved of her cramp, & the youngsters - unbeknowest to her parents - decide to finish off what they started.
When her parents are out, a girl lends her appartment to a friend so she can have sex with her boyfriend, much to the dismay of her own boyfriend, who wanted to have sex with her.
A swimming teacher (Helmut Kircher) realises homosexual tendencies of 2 of his students, Detlev (Michael von Harbach) & Kurt (Peter Kranz), & - liberal guy that he is - he spills the beans to their parents (what ?) & while Detlev's parents are rather open-minded, Kurt's father (Peter B�hlke) is devastated, but his mother (Liane Hielscher) has got a clever idea. She persuades her hubby to leave the house for the night, & instead sends over Christine (Christine Schuberth), a callgirl posing as her colleague, who seduces the boy ... Mission accomplished, boy straight ! (They really bought that in the 70's !)
Heidi (Catharina Conti) & her stepmom Elli (Karin Glier-Sch�neis) are constantly competing over who is more seductive ...
One day, when father's away, Heidi invites her boyfriend Peter (J�rg Nagel) over to have terrific sex, unfortunately halfway through the act, Elli & her lover Jensen (Erich Padalewski) - Peter's geography teacher - come home to have sex too, when their favourite motel is closed, but not only that, they want to do it in Heidi's bed, & the youngsters have just enough time to hide under it. But when Elli & Jensen are at it, her hubby (Bruno W.Pantel) comes home, & Jensen hides under the bed, too, while Elli & her hubby now have sex. Fortunately Heidi keeps her head clear enough to smuggle the 2 men out before her father can notice anything.
Rolf (Eric Wedekind) & Julia (Astrid Kilian) have a pure relationship, & they have refrained from having sex for 2 years. But one day, Rolf's father (Otto Stern) leaves Rolf alone for a night & of course the boy calls Julia so they can finally have sex for the first time. Of course, the next day, Rolf's father catches the 2, sleeping in bed in the nude. & the situation is not made any better when Julia tells him her mother (Astrid Boner) runs a massage salon (yes, that kind of massage salon). Rolf's father immediately decides to send him to a boarding school - but the day before that, Julia invites Rolf over with her mother's blessing, so they can have terrific sex again, while the mother tries to preach to Rolf's father about the liberal morals of modern schoolgirls in only the next room.
The last scene shows Rolf & Julia parting at a railway station ... but somehow the image suggests their love will last.

This movie, produced in the wake of the hugely successful Schulm�dchen Report/Schoolgirl Report-series (the poster for one of these movies is even shown prominently in this movie & commented upon), is a collection of erotic tales ranging from the comedic (though mostly unfunny) to the cheesy. Unfortunatley though, more like anything else it looks like a production line product, made with little conviction & infused with no directorial style at all, so despite young naked bodies aplenty, it holds little interest & manages to be not even unintentionally funny.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

Amazon

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Vimeo

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
Amazon!!!