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USA 2023
produced by
Joe Bland, Michele Kanan, Todd Thompson (executive), Steve Foster (executive), Cass Huckabay (executive) for Bland Productions, Colonials Film
directed by Joe Bland, Andrew Balek
starring Greg Kriek, Sean Kanan, Jennifer Willis, Jamie Bernadette, B.A. Tobin, Mike Ferguson, Allie Ayers, Daniel Roebuck, Jon Provost, Louise Barnes, Jeremy John Wells, Katy Purnell, Cass Huckabay, Greg Dodder, Sarah Kozlowski, Timothy E. Goodwin, Jeff M Hill, Eric Broser, Semere-Ab Etmet Yohannes, Miles Quincy Martin, Saint Ranson
written by Joe Bland, Cyrus Cheek, special and visual effects by Joe Bland

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Available on DVD !

To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat

Always make sure of DVD-compatibility !!!

Back in the day, humankind colonized Mars, and soon enough Mars society became more and more advanced in comparison to those left behind, which eventually led to earth and Mars breaking off contact. Eventually, Cyrus (Jeremy John Wells) sends off a recon-mission to earth, but that mission's ship is shot out of the sky by the Exiles, rogue humans led by half human half robot Grom (Mike Ferguson) who have been exiled to the moon but now have come back to earth to take over the planet and eventually also launch an attack on Mars. Only one member of the recon mission survives, Silas (Greg Kriek), incidently Cyrus's own son, but he has lost his memory - which is too bad, as earth resistance leader Rhea (Jennifer Willis) could have used a pilot just like him to fly a spaceship her top fighters Zoey (Jamie Bernadette) and Thomas (B.A. Tobin) are to capture to the Exiles' secret space station. And things really go from back to worse when Grom's top assassin Raven (Allie Ayers) gets her hands on Silas while in the space ship they were to steal Zoey and Thomas stumble upon a quite insane robot ...


Now storywise, Colonials is remarkably reminiscent of 1980s low budget science fiction films and TV, but with special effects that are definitely the 2020s, and everything set to a very dynamic directorial effort. And all of this works as the film finds the right balance between straightforward action and world-building, between high drama and lighter moments, between politics and spacefights, while showing a certain naivity to keep things from becoming too heavy without becoming simplistic and moving at a high enough pace to keep one entertained - and the result is a very enjoyable genre romp that certainly leaves one wanting more as the ending is kept suitably open.


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD