Hot Picks
|
|
|
Vampires vs. the Bronx
USA 2020
produced by Lorne Michaels, Erin David (executive), Bert Hamelinck (executive), Michael Sagol (executive) for Broadway Video/Netflix
directed by Osmany Rodriguez
starring Jaden Michael, Gerald Jones III, Gregory Diaz IV, Sarah Gadon, Method Man, Shea Whigham, Coco Jones, The Kid Mero, Chris Redd, Vladimir Caamano, Jeremie Harris, Adam David Thompson, Judy Marte, Richard Bekins, Zoe Saldana, Socorro Santiago, Germar Terrell Gardner, Josiah Nolan, Anthony Mecca, Imani Lewis, Toree Alexandre, Jordan Tyson, Heather Simms, Roy Jackson, Nikiya Mathis, Jaime Fernandez, Sudi Green, Nyleek Moore, Michael Diaz, Tuffy Questell, Carl Ducena
story by Osmany Rodriguez, screenplay by Blaise Hemingway, music by Brooke Blair, Will Blair
review by Mike Haberfelner
|
While the Bronx is currently gentrified by the Murnau Corporation
that's buying up businesses left and right with the intention of turning
them into hipster shops, teenaged Miguel (Jaden Michael), helped by his
friends Bobby (Gerald Jones III) and Luis (Gregory Diaz) wants to organize
a block party with the proceeds going to the bodega of Tony (The Kid
Mero), who was pretty much the boys' father figure. But eventually, Miguel
runs afoul a local gangster (Germar Terrell Gardner) and is only just
"saved" by a vampire (Adam David Thompson) - with the problem
being of course that a vampire is the much bigger problem than your
unfriendly neighbourhood gangster, and that nobody will believe Miguel
what he has seen, not even Bobby and Luis. And yet, he somehow ropes them
in to investigate, and soon enough they find out that the Murnau
Corporation is behind all of this. They somehow arrange to get a meeting
with Murnau's chief realtor Frank Polidori (Shea Whigham), and while he
plays nice (and later actually proves to not be a vampire, just their
familiar, as in human servant promised vampirehood eventually), the boys
manage to swipe key evidence, which he has conveniently left lying around
on his desk, plus an all-important key. From the evidence, the boys learn
that the vampires plan to turn key Bronx buildings into vampire nests to
feed on the populace, basically because the authorities don't really care
about what happens to the Bronx and its people. Of course, during their
further investigations the boys get into a lot of trouble, and also get
local gangster boss Henny (Jeremie Harris) up in arms against them, but
ultimately they arm up with stakes, eucharists and holy water, and with
the help of a Haitian girl (Coco Jones) take the fight to the vampires and
their secret leader, friendly upper class neighbourhood blonde Vivian
(Sarah Gordon), and eventually have all of the Bronx on their side ... Wu
Tang Clan's Method Man plays the neighbourhood's priest, while Zoe
Saldana as a manicurist has the honour of being the vampires' first
victim. Frankly, there's not much to see in this movie, as Vampires
vs. the Bronx just plays it too safe by assembling tried and true
vampire, teen comedy and Bronx clichés, with a special eye on teen
vampire movies à la Lost Boys and a certain 1980s vibe, and trying
to pay homage to vampire lore a bit too obviously (the Murnau Corporation
is of course a nod to F.W. Murnau, director of Nosferatu,
while Frank Polidori got his name from John William Polidori, writer
of Dracula
prototype The Vampyre) without making anything of it. The outcome
is a by-the-numbers teen vampire movie, by no means terrible, and moving
along steadily at least, the film just never seems to come into its own
(apart from a few nice ideas in the finale) and thus has the definite
feeling of same old, same old.
|
|
|