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The Sex Thief
Her Family Jewels / Handful of Diamonds
UK 1973
produced by Michael Style, Tudor Gates (as Teddy White) for Ocarina Films, Drumbeat, Rainbow
directed by Martin Campbell
starring David Warbeck, Diane Keen, Terence Edmond, Linda Coombes (= Deirdre Costello), Gloria Walker (= Gloria Maley), Susan Glanville, Jennifer Westbrook, Christopher Neil, Michael Armstrong, Harvey Hall, Gerald Taylor, Christopher Biggins, Christopher Mitchell, Eric Deacon, David Landor, Henry Rayner, James Aubrey, David Pugh, Brenda Rae, Anthony May, Derek Martin, Val Penny, Dave Carter, Neville Barber, Michael Hannah, Carlotta Barrow, Veronica Doran
written by Edward Hyde (= Michael Armstrong, Tudor Gates), music by Michael Vickers
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Cat burglar Grant Henry (David Warbeck), a modestly successful thriller
author on the side, is caught red handed during his tatest raid by the
lady of the house, Emily Barrow (Jennifer Westbrook) - but with his looks,
charms and good manners, he manages to seduce her, and after a hot night,
she not only lets him get away with all the loot, she also gives the
police a totally inaccurate description of the burglar's looks. And that
drives Inspector Smith (Terence Edmond) and insurance agent Judy (Diane
Keen) crazy, because with all the burglaries of late that follow the same
modus operandi, the descriptions of the burglar are widely disparaging. Enter
washed-up sex starlet Jezebel (Linda Coombes), who sees this spree of
burglaries as a great opportunity to not only get back into the press but
also commit insurance fraud, so she makes up a phony story that she has
been burgled and (to spice things up) claims the assailant has raped her
no less than 7 times. Grant, when he reads that, decides to break into
Jezebel's place to have sex with her 7 times - which she rather enjoys
while he's leaving all drained. Now this story gives Judy an idea,
probably the thief in question does actually seduce all the lonely women
he robs so they won't give accurate descriptions of the assailant. So she
and Smith come up with a plan, Judy herself will pretend to be a filthy
rich woman just to lure Grant into a trap - and this works just fine ...
until Grant uses his seductive charms on Judy ... In a subplot, Smith's
colleague (Michael Armstrong) peddles confiscated porn to a sleazy
journalist (Christopher Neil). Now in times like this, with
today's tastes and mores, a film like this simply couldn't be made anymore
(at least outside of hardcore porn), and it really would be wrong to judge
this film through the lense of today's political correctness - after all
this film was made in the more permissive and less uptight 1970s for
contemporary audiences first and foremost and it's quite obviously not
taking itself seriously at all but tells a raunchy romp to titilate the
viewers. And judged by 1970s sex comedy standards, this is actually a
pretty well-made film, the humour isn't as moronic as with other films of
its ilk, the story's more than just a hanger for sex scenes and shows some
spark even when there's no shagging going on, the cast is competent, and
the direction even shows some originality in parts (like when a sex
scene's intercut with a wrestling match). Also, the very lively, slightly
jazzy proto-disco score by Michael Vickers does deserve special mention. Now I'm not at all saying The
Sex Thief is a great film by any standard, but it's very ok
entertainment of the slightly naughty kind. Two things worth of
note: 1) This is the debut feature of Martin Campbell, whose career
would see him decades later relaunch the James
Bond series not once but twice, Goldeneye in 1995 and Casino
Royale in 2006, which is really as far as you can get in British
commercial filmmaking. 2) The Sex Thief was also released as a
hardcore porn movie (going by the titles Handful of Diamonds and Her
Family Jewels) in the USA, but all the hardcore footage was shot with
other actors and spliced in for release (as wasn't uncommon in the
1970s), probably without the express permission and maybe even the
knowledge of anyone involved with the original film.
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