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Search for the Beast

USA 1997
produced by
R.G. Arledge for Elk Creek Entertainment, A & M Studios
directed by Rick Montana
starring Rick Montana, Steven Steele, Holli Day, David F. Friedman, Jeffrey Pierce, Stupid D.Klown, Tweetie, Michelle Hines, Richard Arledge, Ronnie Hodge, Steve Bringhurst, Annalise Pierce
written by R.G. Arledge, creature effects by Doug Higley/Higley's Strange Objects

Bigfoot

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Available on DVD!

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Somewhere in the wilderness, where apparently lots of young couples go to camp and girls find a myriard of reasons to go topless, Bigfoot (played by Richard Arledge and Ronnie Hodge, alternatively) has set up camp, to kill the male campers and kidnap their female partners ...

Reading about this, Milton St.John (David F.Friedman), rich businessman who has recently lost his son, pays scientist Dr. Stone (Rick Montana) an enourmous sum of money to bring him proof of Bigfoot's existence. But while Stone is to believe he is just interested in the subject and has money to burn, St.John has a whole other agenda: He wants to have the beast, which he blames for the death of his son, killed. So he sends a gang of gunmen led by shady Jim (Steven Steele) along on the expedition into the wilderness with Stone - who is apparently oblivious to the fact that all of his companions carry submachine guns for no apparent reason ... but then again he might just be too distracted by his new assistant and love interest Wendy (Holli Day) to notice anything else. Of course, all of this leads to no good, and eventually, Stone finds himself tied up in Bigfoot territory, Wendy becomes Jim's hostage (for no apparent reason, he actually abandons her later just like that), and Jim's men are torn up by Bigfoot one by one. Jim of course ultimately manages to free himself, kill those of Jim's men whom Bigfoot had missed, and eventually he saves Wendy and the two get out of the woods.

And Jim?

He makes it out of the woods - almost. When he has already reached the safety of his car, Bigfoot comes up from the back and breaks his neck.

Yes, but who is Bigfoot after all?

Turns out he is the malformed pet of a local hick who's supplying him with sextoys ... er, topless female campers ...

 

A pretty bad film: Made on a shoestring, this film suffers from its attempts to achieve more than the tight budget allows, but also from its rather boring script that takes itself way too seriously, lacks any real buildup of tension and suspense, anbd is a little too crowded with filler scenes to keep the narrative flow going. Add to this a wooden cast, dead boring monotonous offscreen narration by Rick Montana, and very tired action scenes, and you've got ... well, yeah, it's a pretty bad film - but it's also so much fun: The monster suit is hilarious, Montana's monotonous offscreen narration ridiculous, the whole cast's rather inept performances are a blast, and then there's of course the classic "Bigfoot-rape" scene, in which a guy (Stupid D.Klown) shags his girlfriend (Tweetie) doggystyle, is killed by Bigfoot halfway through, then Bigfoot takes over the shagging, without her noticing - this has to be seen to be believed. Having said it's so much fun though, one word of warning: You might have to drink yourself into the right mood to find humour in this film - a couple or more beers though should do the trick!

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!