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Nosferatu vs. Father Pipecock and Sister Funk
Canada 2014
produced by Tony Watt (executive), Vivita (executive) for Tony Watt Inc. Studios, Slum Goddess
directed by Tony Watt, Vivita (co), John Migliore (opening sequence), F.W. Murnau (archive footage)
starring Vivita, Tony Watt (as Trenchmouth Colitis), Kelly Mari, John Migliore, Sara Dagoda, Sandy Fluffer Dahl; archive footage: Max Schreck, Gustav von Wangenheim, Greta Schröder, Alexander Granach, Gustav Botz, John Gottowt, Max Nemetz, Wolfgang Heinz; voice actors: Kim Sønderholm, Pepe Chingadero, Ilham Otaku
written by Tony Watt, based on Dracula by Bram Stoker
Dracula, Nosferatu, Johnny Ghoulash (cameo)
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Available on DVD! To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat (commissions earned) |
Always make sure of DVD-compatibility!!!
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The plot, being mostly made up from archive footage from 1922's Nosferatu,
follows that movie pretty closely: Hutter (Gustav von Wangenheim), a
realtor from Bremen, travels to Transylvania to sell some real estate to
Count Orlock (Max Schreck), and somehow he slips the picture of his wife
Ellen (Greta Schröder) to Orlock, and she apparently appeals to the Count
enough for him to lock Hutter into his castle and make the journey to
Bremen - and his newly found home opposite Ellen's - on his own. Ellen
soon suffers from a weird affliction that also includes somnabulism, and
that baffles all the specialists. Hutter's superior Knock (Alexander
Granach) is even harder hit, so much so that he's institutionalised in the
local sanitarium ... because you know, Orlock actually is a vampire, and
he has choosen Ellen as his bride and Knock as his local servant - the
latter hasn't worked out that great though. This would also explain the
recent plague that has hit Bremen ... Back in Transylvania, Hutter is
left at the mercy of Orlock's horny bride (Kelly Mari) - but is saved at
the nick of time by Farther Pipecock (Tony Watt) and Sister Funk (Vivita),
a priest-and-nun vampire slayer team. Knowing in what danger his bride
might be, Hutter sends his journal that depicts how to kill vampires to
Ellen ... Having received the journal from Hutter, Ellen knows that she has to seduce the vampire and
keep him with her till sunrise in order to destroy him - even if it costs
her life as well. But enter Father Pipecock and Sister Funk ... The serious horror fan will probably love to hate this
movie, because the original Nosferatu
is regarded a classic, so to defile it with very silly voice-overs, fart
jokes, bare boobs, an actor in blackface, a sexy nun, and heavy artillery
sounds like a sacrilege ... but then one might take a second look: Sure, Nosferatu
is a masterpiece when it comes to atmospheric, morbid filmmaking, and it
has created an iconic vampire ... but most of the acting in this film is
so over-the-top it's almost hilarious by itself (and only kept in check by
a great directorial effort). Plus I doubt the filmmakers' intention was to
desecrate the movie, for that they follow the original plot to closely,
but to create something new by ripping things out of context, adding
enjoyably inappropriate stuff time and again, playing up the very subdued
sexual angle of the original, and just having fun with the thing, making
it a really loveable (for all the wrong reasons maybe, but who cares)
party movie.
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