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The Beauties and the Beast

USA 1974
produced by
Arthur A. Jacobs for Raynad, Second Unit Productions
directed by Ray Nadeau
starring Jean Gibson (= Jacqueline Giroux), Uschi Digard, Marius Mazmanian, Bob Makay, Patrick Scott, David Wheeler, Susan Wescott, John Shell, Carol Evins, Sandy Carey, Sharon Kelly (= Colleen Brennan), Tami Lynn, Beverly Wallace, Paul Kalin, Charles David, Brian Jacobs, Tracy Handfuss, Philip Luther
written by Gaynor MacLaren, music by David Ankrum

Bigfoot

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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After a guy who is supposed to look like an explorer gives us a lecture about Bigfoot and assures us the story we are about to see might be true, we are actually treated to two unrelated stories:

In story number one, Bigfoot kidnaps beautiful young women whom he keeps locked up in his cave to ... well, I don't know why he does it, but he shows good taste when it comes to choosing his victims.

Story number two has Ann (Jean Gibson) and Mary (Uschi Digard) going to the mountains for a bit of rest and relaxation. They stumble upon a group of hippies and get friendly with them. This leads to quite a bit of sex. The hippies tell Ann and Mary that they usually leave a bit of food outside their cabin and the next day it's gone, but they always find an antique coin in its stead. One of the hippies believes its Bigfoot who takes the food (and pays for it), but Ann and Mary suspect it's a hermit they have stumbled upon on their hike.

The next day, two criminals show up who want to get their hands on the antique coins. While one of them holds the hippies hostage, the other forces Ann and Mary to take them to the hermit. Holding the hippies hostage, the one crook can't help but raping one of the hippie girls, and thus is of course caught off-guard when the hippies counterattack and ultimately shoot him dead. Meanwhile, Mary manages to make a daring escape, but Ann takes the other crook to the hermit's cabin. The hermit puts up a fight, but it seems the crook is about to defeat him ... when Bigfoot shows up, breaking every bone in his body. The hermit and Bigfoot then disappear into the woods before the authorities arrive.

 

Basically, a poorly written and cheaply made flick that tries to combine the Bigfoot story with softcore sex - and not successfully so from a narrative point of view. That's not to say the film isn't fun though, exactly for its shortcomings and for its typical 1970's approach to erotica. Sure, this is no masterpiece of any sort, and you'll probably have forgotten it in a day or two - but it's entertaining in a nostalgic sort of way while it lasts at least.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!