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The Incredible Melting Man
Der Planet Saturn lässt schön grüssen

USA 1977
produced by
Samuel W. Gelfman, Max J. Rosenberg
directed by William Sachs
starring Alex Rebar, Burr DeBenning, Myron Healey, Ann Sweeny, Michael Alldredge, Jonathan Demme
make-up-effects by Rick Baker

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Coming back from a spaceflight to Saturn as the crew's sole survivor, Alex Rebar's medical conditon is rather peculiar all the same: he is melting. & since this is not only disfigureing his outward appearance but all that melting is also affecting his brain, he soon goes on a murdering spree, spreading radioactivity all the while. & the only people in the area knowing about his condition (of course, everything's hushed up by the military) are doctor Ted Nelson (Burr DeBenning) & army general Perry (Myron Healey). First, Nelson goes on monster-hunt alone, only armed with a Geiger-counter & shouting stuff like "I'm all alone, I wanna help you", & even after the general joins him, they are pretty casual about their hunt, considering our melting man is a homicidal maniac & they are the only two persons to look for him. Soon, the two of them apparently have time to stop for dinner and a nap at Nelson's place. But all that carelessness soon comes back at them with a vengeance, for while they had their undeserved rest the melting man murdered Ted's pregnant wife's (Ann Sweeny) parents. So, the 2 of them continue their search - actually just driving around town half-heartedly - until the general "could use a drink", so it's back to Ted's house, where Ted drops off the general & continues search with the sheriff who he finally lets in on the secret of Melty, but unbeknowest to them Melty has already picked out Ted's house for his next assault, & while the general has some leftovers he found in the fridge, he is slaughtered. Melty refrains from going after Ted's pregnant wife though, instead he roams the neighbourhood some more before Ted & the sheriff can sorner him at a factory, where the sheriff has to learn - pretty painfully, too - that bullets can't harm Melty... & if you thought the movie was already stupid up to now, from here on it getsw really stupid: Now, Melty saves Ted's life (!), but Ted, in a surprise plottwist is shot by some cops arriving on the scene (!!). Melty kills the cops, too, & dies a sundawn (!!!-?), in a scene that should portray him as a poor misundrstood creature (??).

 

This movie does admittedly have well-crafted monster make-up, that even looks remotely scary at times - & let's admit it, not many monster make-ups are all that scary -, but the plot is just too damned familiar from countless sci-fi movies since at least the 50's, & furthermore the script is very badly written while the direction is devoid of any personal handwriting & resembles rather a second rate tv-series than a motion picture for the big screen.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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