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Les Femmes s'en Balancent

Dames Get Along
Serenade für zwei Pistolen / Dames don't Care / Die Frauen kümmert das wenig

France 1954
produced by
Robert Bossis for Compagnie Industrielle et Commerciale Cinématographique (= CICC), Pathé
directed by Bernard Borderie
starring Eddie Constantine, Nadia Gray, Dominique Wilms, Robert Berri, Jacques Castelot, Robert Burnier, Darío Moreno, Gil Delamare, Nicolas Vogel, Dominique Bukar, Georgette Anys, Francois Perrot, Emilio Carrer, Guy Henry, Anne-Marie Mersen, Paul Azais, Jack Ary
screenplay by Jacques Vilfrid, Bernard Borderie, based on the novel by Peter Cheyney, music by Paul Misraki

Lemmy Caution

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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In Italy, FBI-agent Lemmy Caution (Eddie Constantine) picks uo a rather peculiar case: Stock broker Granworth Aymes (Jacques Castelot) has killed himself. A few weeks later his wife Henrietta (Nadia Gray) rather innocently tries to exchange a 1000 Dollar note at a bank ... to find out it is forged. And so are all the 200.000 Dollars her businessman hubby has left her.

After a bit of investigation though Lemmy finds out that Aymes has not killed himself at all but was murdered - and all evidence leads to Henrietta as the culprit. And even though Lemmy has developed a soft spot for the girl, he has no reservations booking her ...

Soon though more evidence pops up: Turns out that the owner of the nightclub Henrietta frequents, Fernandez (Robert Berri), was once Aymes' chauffeur, Aymes' former secretary Burdell (Francois Perrot) is now Henrietta's lawyer, and even her maid Paulette (Dominique Wilms) seems to have made out quite well after her employer's death ...

After lots of investigations, fistfights, flirts with lovely ladies and even more whiskeys, Lemmy has found out the truth: Aymes, Fernandez, Burdell, Paulette and Paulette's husband Benito (Dominique Bukar) have entertained a little money forging ring, until Benito has found out about his wife's affair with Aymes. Furiously, he threatened to blow the covers off the whole thing, so Aymes killed him, then, using his corpse, faked his own death, while pretending to be the terminally ill Benito in his hospital bed - which seems to have fooled everyone but Lemmy. Plus they deviced a plan to plant evidence to make Paulette a tailormade culprit (which Lemmy almost fell for) and leave the country once things have blown over. But of course, in the end, Lemmy can not only have Fernandez, Burdell and Paulette arrested, but he also tracks down Aymes and gives him his just desserts.

And as these films go, in the end he also gets the lady - in this case Henrietta, in case you wondered.

 

As a pure crime movie, this film has not too much going for it, the story is muddled and ridiculously overcomplex, and corpses, fistfights and attempts at Lemmy's life seem to be thrown into the plot at random ... but then again, the Lemmy Caution-series (of which this was the third film) was never strong on story elements anyways, the appeal of these movies was the tongue-in-cheek-approach to the genre, and of course Eddie Constantine's charismatic and self-ironic performance, which ultimately really carries the movie.

And yes, this film is fun, as long as you don't take it seriously.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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