Somewhere in Britain, the early 20th century: Professor Perry (Peter Cushing) has just developed a giant drilling machine to proceed to the center of the earth and takes it on a testdrive together with his student David (Doug McClure) ... but the testdrive takes them to an underground (as in sub-lava) continent populated by dinosaurs, sub-humans and human-like creatures, creatures that seem to live on a caveman-level but conveniently speak perfect English. Soon the professor and David are caught by some subhumans together with Dia (Caroline Munro), a Princess on the run, treacherous Hoojah (Sean Lynch) and a few other cavemen. The subhumans bring them to their masters, man-sized flying dinosaurs with hypnotic powers, and all the humans are to serve as slaves. David however manages to escape, once outside make the acquaintance with Ra (Cy Grant), and together they return to the caves the others are held at, and they manage to free them after a bit of dinosaur-wrestling.

Then though, David has to fight Jubal the Ugly One (Michael Crane), who claims Dia as his bride, and of course, David defeats him. As a thank you, Dia wants to marry him, but David tells her and her tribe there will be no marriage until their oppressors (the hypnotic flying dinosaurs and their subhuman servants) are defeated ... so everybody arms himself and goes against them, and not even the treachery of Hoojah can stop our heroes from defeating their enemies for good and making all their caves collapse.

Having succeeded in bringing peace to the region, David marries Dia and wants to take her to the upper world, but she refuses him, since this is her home. In tears the lovers part ...

Low budget retro-science fiction film that seems to be out of date even for the time it was made and is more reminiscent of serials from the 1930's more than anything else. Also, the rather unconvincing sets and less than perfect dinosaurs (mostly men in monstersuits) don't really spell technology at the height of its time. Add to that a merely functional directorial effort by Kevin Connor, and you've got ... actually, you've got a rather entertaining movie, even if entertaining in a campy and sometimes even so-bad-it's-good way. And while Doug McClure - at that time definitely past his prime - is a less than memorable leading man and the usually dependable Peter Cushing merely plays a parody of an eccentric professor, Caroline Munro in rather skimpy outfits is a sight for sore eyes at least.

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
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from the post-apocalyptic
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tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
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Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
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