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VampyrZ on a Boat
USA 2022
produced by Mark Allen Michaels, Stefan Colson, Gi Gi Gadek (executive) for Firebreathing Films
directed by Mark Allen Michaels
starring Dallas Valdez, Carrie Keagan, Curt Lambert, Robert Acres, Andrea Leithe, Kendall Wells, Buddy Clements, Joey Whittemore, Lisa Hoyle, Bryan McGowan, Larz Yungbliut, Kate Rees Davies, Seamus Cattaneo, Michael Wood, Aaron Kai, Mattison Walker, Michael Coleman, Paul Kirwin, Diane Ayala Goldner, Mark Silver, Christy St. John, Julie Romano, Jonny Heinen
written by Mark Allen Michaels, special effects makeup by Michelle Sfarzo
review by Mike Haberfelner
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Available on DVD! To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat (commissions earned) |
Always make sure of DVD-compatibility!!!
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Max (Dallas Valdez) and Del (Curt Lambert) are hired to provide
security on a cruise ship that the gouvernment has repurposed as a huge
medical research lab. It really sounds like an easy job as the ship's only
manned by a skeleton crew and just the necessary staff, no passengers.
Sure, the captain (Robert Acres) seems to be a tad on the mad side, but is
harmless enough, and on the plus side, Max finds the love of his life on
the ship, Sara (Carrie Keagan), so really what could go wrong on the
cruise? The answer is of course, everything, as the gouvernment-employed
doctor (Andrea Leithe) is doing experiments on vampires, and as vampires
do, they escape and soon wreak havoc on the ship's staff and crew, killing
or turning one after the other. Even Max and Del fall prey to them
occasionally, but they have the doctor as their back-up who always brings
them back to (human) life in the nick of time. Sara on the other hand is
not so lucky, and before long is turned - and now it's personal for Max
...
Now I think it's safe to say one doesn't expect too subtle a
horror drama from a film with a title as blunt as VampyrZ on a Boat
- and the movie sure enough lives up to the promise of its title, it's
certainly not a re-invention of the genre but it moves along at a brisk
pace, with characters that might lack much depth but work well in the
context, and as a whole the thing is carried by plenty of suspense and
vampire action. But what really makes the movie is that it's quite aware
it's not the next Citizen Kane, but it's driven by enough irony to
let the plot's inherent silliness slide, and it sure succeeds in
entertaining its audience over its circa 70 minute running time.
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review © by Mike Haberfelner
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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes, cuddly toys and shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill Your Bones to is all of that.
Tales to Chill Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle,
all thought up by the twisted mind of screenwriter and film reviewer Michael Haberfelner.
Tales to Chill Your Bones to
the new anthology by Michael Haberfelner
Out now from Amazon!!! |
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