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This Ain't Star Trek XXX

USA 2009
produced by
Hustler
directed by Axel Braun
starring Evan Stone, Tony DeSergio, Cheyne Collins, Nick Manning, Jada Fire, Ero Sennin, Anthony Rosano, Codi Carmichael, Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, Aurora Snow
screenplay by Axel Braun, Roger Krypton, Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry, special effects by Nextdoor Jimmy

Star Trek, Star Trek (original crew), This Ain't Star Trek, Khan

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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The starship Enterprise, commandeered by Captain Kirk (Evan Stone) comes across an ancient spaceship somewhere on the outskirts of our Galaxy, a spaceship that just happens to carry a man in suspended animation who upon thawing up turns out to be the eccentric Khan (Nick Manning), who upon closer inspection also turns out to be a mad wannabe-intergalactic conqueror - but Kirk and co only find that out after Khan has seduced one of them, ship historian Marla (Aurora Snow), when the horny Vulcan Chandra (Sasha Grey) informs them about Khan's past.

First thing Khan and Marla do is to blow poisonous gas into sickbay, but fortunately, Doc McCoy (Cheyne Collins) and his nurse (Codi Carmichael) are quick to find out an orgasm can save them from certain death - so they are quick to engage in sexual intercourse.

The climax has Khan trying to gas the Enterprise's bridge, forcing Kirk, Spock (Tony DeSergio) and Uhura (Jada Fire) to engage in a threeway to save their lives.

 

This pornographic version of the Star Trek episode Space Seed is not so much a parody as the description and ads claim but a mix of remake and hommage - with hardcore sex tagged on of course. This means the film follows the old TV show's plot rather closely (with the necessary alterations to fit the genre of course), it's got the sets, costumes, props, and even colour patterns down to the t - but there is nothing essentially funny about the whole thing. Sure, it's entertaining to see pornstars in Star Trek costumes, the Enterprise crew in sexual situations, and the kinky costumes put to kinky use for a change, but that's about as amusing as it gets, and even Evan Stone, probably the funniest man in porn (which is meant as a compliment. he is a talented comedian) doesn't get much in terms of laughs in this one. Sure, all of this amounts to at least some entertainment value, and the sex is pretty decent too, but it's nowhere near the parody it could have been, which is a shame considering the loving and very on-target directorial effort.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD