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The Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet

USA 1969
produced by
Harry H. Novak, Bethel Buckalew for Global Pictures, Boxoffice International
directed by A.P.Stootsberry (= Bethel Buckalew)
starring Forman Shane, Deirdre Nelson (as Dicora Carse), Stuart Lancaster, Adam Lawrence, Mickey Jines, James Brand, Jay Edwards, Don Jones, Sydney Carlysle, Wendell Swink, Vincene Wallace, Marvin Sweetbody, Karen Thomas, Pat Davis, Tiffany Lane, Elenor Rigby, Dorthea Cristie, Antoinette Maynard, Kelly
screenplay by Jim Schumacher, somehow based on the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Romeo and Juliet

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Romeo (Forman Shane) loves Juliet (Deidre Nelson) and Juliet loves Romeo, but since he is a Montague and she a Capulet and their families are bitter enemies, they cannot be together - but that doesn't mean that they don't have sex, just not with each other, and while Juliet has an affair with a Prince and even shags her own nurse (Vincene Wallace), Romeo doesn't even shy away from shagging Juliet's mother (Mickey Jines).

Then though, Juliet's father (Stuart Lancaster) wants to marry her to Paris (Marvin Sweetbody), who's rich but totally gay, which causes Juliet to ask the (promiscuous) friar (Wendell Swink) for help, who gives her a narcotic to fake her own death, which she does - but not before she has shagged two servants (Jay Edwards, Don Jones).

Romeo finds Juliet in her casket and drinks from her poison as well - and drops like dead on the spot. Capulet and Montague (Adam Lawrence) find the dead Romeo beside Juliet's casket and decide they should be together at least in death, lifting Romeo into Juliet's casket to spend eternity next to her ... but once the narcotic wears off, you can guess what they'll be doing.


This film is very much removed from William Shakespeare's original Romeo and Juliet and only uses minimal dialogue that's actually in the play, and of course the story is little more than an excuse to cram as many (softcore-)sexscenes as possible into its 90 minutes of running time - but that's not to say the film is essentially bad or forgettable. Actually it's pretty funny and even moderately inventive by filming the whole think like a filmed stageplay with audience - which is shown every once in a while, and in one scene two characters hide in the audience -, with everything that goes with it, like characters fluffing their lines or missing their cues, the stagehand (Kelly) screwing up the lighting spot and a storyteller (James Brand) trying to hold the whole thing together. That's not to say that The Secret Sex Lives or Romeo and Juliet is a masterpiece, of course it's little more than a softsex comedy - it's just good fun and more interesting than most softsex films of its time.


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD