The Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet
Harry H. Novak, Bethel Buckalew for Global Pictures, Boxoffice International
directed by A.P.Stootsberry (= Bethel Buckalew)
starring Forman Shane, Deirdre Nelson (as Dicora Carse), Stuart Lancaster, Adam Lawrence, Mickey Jines, James Brand, Jay Edwards, Don Jones, Sydney Carlysle, Wendell Swink, Vincene Wallace, Marvin Sweetbody, Karen Thomas, Pat Davis, Tiffany Lane, Elenor Rigby, Dorthea Cristie, Antoinette Maynard, Kelly
screenplay by Jim Schumacher, somehow based on the play Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet
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Romeo (Forman Shane) loves Juliet (Deidre Nelson) and Juliet loves
Romeo, but since he is a Montague and she a Capulet and their families are
bitter enemies, they cannot be together - but that doesn't mean that they
don't have sex, just not with each other, and while Juliet has an affair
with a Prince and even shags her own nurse (Vincene Wallace), Romeo
doesn't even shy away from shagging Juliet's mother (Mickey Jines).
Then though, Juliet's father (Stuart Lancaster) wants to marry her to
Paris (Marvin Sweetbody), who's rich but totally gay, which causes Juliet
to ask the (promiscuous) friar (Wendell Swink) for help, who gives her a
narcotic to fake her own death, which she does - but not before she has
shagged two servants (Jay Edwards, Don Jones).
Romeo finds Juliet in her casket and drinks from her poison as
well - and drops like dead on the spot. Capulet and Montague (Adam
Lawrence) find the dead Romeo beside Juliet's casket and decide they
should be together at least in death, lifting Romeo into Juliet's casket
to spend eternity next to her ... but once the narcotic wears off, you can
guess what they'll be doing.
This film is very much removed from William Shakespeare's original
Romeo and Juliet and only uses minimal dialogue that's actually in the
play, and of course the story is little more than an excuse to cram as
many (softcore-)sexscenes as possible into its 90 minutes of running time
- but that's not to say the film is essentially bad or forgettable.
Actually it's pretty funny and even moderately inventive by filming the
whole think like a filmed stageplay with audience - which is shown every
once in a while, and in one scene two characters hide in the audience -,
with everything that goes with it, like characters fluffing their lines or
missing their cues, the stagehand (Kelly) screwing up the lighting spot
and a storyteller (James Brand) trying to hold the whole thing together.
That's not to say that The Secret Sex Lives or Romeo and Juliet is
a masterpiece, of course it's little more than a softsex comedy - it's
just good fun and more interesting than most softsex films of its time.