- Ax 2013
Assault of the Sasquatch
Andrew Gernhard, M. Sridharan, Bonnie Farley-Lucas (executive), Richard J.Lucas (executive), Ragavan Padmanathan (executive) for Vijaya Cine Enterprises, Synthetic Cinema International
directed by Andrew Gernhard
starring Kevin Shea, Greg Nutcher, Sarah J.Ahearn, Cristina Santiago, Andrea Sáenz, Alex Exum, Hank Torrance, Jason Criscoulo, Cuyle Carvin, Shawn C.Phillips, M. Kelley, Michael Wrann, Sari Gagnon, Paul Melluzzo, J.Matthew Root, Kerry McGann, Leo Petry, John Randall
written by John Doolan, music by Matthew Llewellyn, creature created by Ben Chester
Sasquatch a.k.a. Bigfoot
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A bearhunter (Kevin Shea) is brought into an undermanned police
precinct for questioning - but unfortunately, his truck is hauled in as
well - unfortunately because the truck doesn't contain the usual dead
bears but a real life sasquatch (Jason Criscoulo) the hunter has captured
for some rich bastard to hunt. However, once at the police station, the
sasquatch breaks out and puts the precinct under siege.
Inside, you find
all the usual suspects: the widowed cop (Greg Nutcher), his teenaged
daughter (Sarah J.Ahearn), his loyal partner (Cristina Santiago), the guy
who widowed him (Alex Exum), the klutzy cop (Cuyle Carvin), the sexy but
tough-as-nails secretary (Andrea Sáenz), and so on and so forth.
Eventually, the sasquatch manages to enter the precinct, and now he starts
killing people left and right, until he catches up with the hunter who
has captured him, and he has his revenge on the bastard. Then he returns
to the forest he was found him, without hurting the three sole survivors
on his way out.
Oh, and the three survivors are (no surprise here) the
widowed cop, his daughter and his partner.
As the title of this
film pretty much suggests, this is a monstermovie take on John Carpenter's
Assault on Precinct 13 - only without any of that movie's
ingenuity. While Carpenter managed to fill his film's skeletal plot with
interesting characters and plottwists and made it a point to create
tension and suspense pretty much nonstop, this film is merely
overpopulated with clichéed characters having clichéed dialogues and
doing clichéed things, the murder scenes and even the order they appear
in just follow your typical slasher formula (so much so that there is no
question of who's going to die, who's going to survive), and if all that
didn't yet kill the film, the very cheap sasquatch-cosutme, that looks
like something out of a 1940's B picture and that's pulled into plain
sight way too often in the movie, surely sinks it.