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Once Upon a Time in Mexico

USA 2003
produced by
Elizabeth Avellan, Carlos Gallardo, Robert Rodriguez for Troublemaker Studios/Columbia, Dimension Films
directed by Robert Rodriguez
starring Antonio Banderas, Johnny Depp, Willem Dafoe, Mickey Rourke, Salma Hayek, Eva Mendes, Danny Trejo, Enrique Iglesias, Marco Leonardi, Ruben Blades, Cheech Marin, Gerardo Vigil, Pedro Armendàriz jr, Julio Oscar Mechoso, Miguel Couturier, Tony Valdez, José Luis Avendano, Natalia Torres
written, edited & music by Robert Rodriguez

Mariachi

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Drug lord Barilla (Willem Dafoe) wants the Mexican president (Pedro Almendàriz jr) killed, so he hires General Marquez (Gerardo Vigil), who wants to overthrow the pres anyways, to do the dirty job for quite a sum of money. This brings rogue CIA agent & loveable maniac Sands (Johnny Depp) into the game, who wants both the pres dead & quite the sum of money promised to Marquez ... & he figures the easiest way to get the money from Marquez (who naturally is not very likely to just hand it over) is to have him assassinaed as well after he has shot the pres ... & thus he hires the Mariachi (Antonio Banderas), who still has a score to settle with Marquez who has killed his girlfriend (Salma Hayek, returning to him in endless, meaningless dream sequences). & the Mariachi soon calls his 2 Mariachi friends (Enrique Iglesias, Marco Leonardi) to help him kill Marquez.

& here is where it gets silly: for a reason or reasons unknown, Sands shares some of his knowledge aboutt he assassination of the pres & everything else with a rundown ex-FBI agent (Rubén Blades), who still has an old score wioth Barillo to settle, & Mr FBI in turn soon teams up with Chambers (Mickey Rourke), Barillo's right hand man on the run from the US-authorities but tired of running away & more than happy to help the FBI (well, I told you it would get silly). & then Sands has also a romance going with Barillo's daughter (Eva Mendes), who eventually though will wind up taking his eyes out (literally) so he can't identify Barillo who at some deliberate point in the movie had plastic surgery & faked his own death. That doesn't stop Sands from shooting his way through the rest of the picture though.

In the end, the 3 Mariachis suddenly change sides on a whim & become the president's bodyguards, & pretty much all the baddies end up dead, exxcept for Sands, & the president of course is saved.

 

The first 2 Mariachi-movies were slim shoot-em-ups, with only a skeleton of a plot to hang its invariably tongue-in-cheek action on, with Once upon a Time in Mexico though, the audience is presented with a convoluted & essentially illogical plot which is supposed to serve as motivatin for the violence that ensues, but is incomprehensible to a point that one stops to care. All is further hampered by various subplots that don't take the story even one step further, like the Mariachi's dreams of his dead girlfriend (seemingly only a method to work Salma Hayek into the plot) or the drinking problem of one of his Mariachi-colleagues. Also, Johnny Depp, normally quite a competent actor, totally blows his chance to suitably camp up his role & make it work on a fun-level.

 

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!