Elisabeth (Sybil Danning) is a problem child - not because she sleeps around so much, she's actually still a virgin, but because every man tries to get into her panties. So she's fired from her last job at a hospital and returns home to her drugist father Bumsh�uptl (Paul L�winger), who wants to teach her to be a good girl, and her sisters Christl (Alena Penz) and Maria (Eva Garden), who act like good girls in front of their father but actually both see their lovers (Gernot M�hner, Sascha Hehn) every night. But now that virginal Elisabeth is back, they see their erotic nightlife endangered, so they try to make her lose her virginity as soon as possible and to that end develop a potency pill. However, the pill doesn't have the desired effect, as every man in sight does want to rape Elisabeth for sure, but she just won't let them rape her. And she won't even sleep with her new boss, Doc K�rner (Claus Tinney), even though he's in love with her. So Maria decides to feed him the pill when they are at a congress, so he'll deflower her, but ends up raped herself by a diplomat (Erich Padalewski) and almost destroys teh chances of Elisabeth and K�rner ever getting together ... until everyone explains everything to everyone else, and suddenly dad Bumsh�uptl sees himself confronted with the triple marriage of his daughters while at the same time his drug store starts earning gazillions because of the potency pill.

This film is pretty much as silly as it sounds, and it's not at all helped by bad jokes and weakly executed slapstick ... but then again, the main reason for this movie is to show naked female bodies aplenty, and at least in this respect the film succeeds (and most of the girls look rather good, too). So of course, you can dislike the film for its lack of quality and subtlety, and lets not forget its politically incorrect, anti-feminist message - but then again, you can just lean back, have a few beers, and enjoy this piece of erotic nostalgia for the nonsense it is ...

review � by Mike Haberfelner

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

now streaming at

Amazon

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Vimeo

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
is all of that.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to -
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

Out now from
Amazon!!!