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Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

USA 1982
produced by
Joe Roth, Lou Lombardo (executive) for Red Stripe, Paramount
directed by Lou Adler
starring Diane Lane, Ray Winstone, Marin Kanter, Laura Dern, David Clennon, Barry Ford, Fee Waybill, Vince Welnick, John Lehne, Cynthia Sikes, Paul Simonon, Steve Jones, Paul Cook, Vern Willis, Douglas Mackinnon, Christine Lahti, Janet Wright, Peter Donat, Mia Bendixsen, Stuart Ferguson, Susan Bracher, Diana Wygod, James Nichols, Elizabeth Daily (= EG Daily), John Morris, the Metro Squad, Heather Elton, Brent Spiner, Debbie Rochon
written by Nancy Dowd (as Rob Morton), songs written by Barry Ford, Nancy Down, Steve Jones, Paul Cook

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Somewhere, in the middle of nowhere, USA: Corinne (Diane Lane) is an unemployed and recently orphaned teenaged girl who hasn't even finished high school but hasn't got any perspective in her life, other than a pipe dream that she will make it big with her all-girl band The Stains she's in with her sister (Marin Kanter) and her cousin (Laura Dern). Out of the blue, opportunity comes knocking when has-been hard rock band Metal Corpse is looking for a new support band in order to ditch their present support, British punk rockers The Looters.

This could be the big break for The Stains, but it seems it's too good an opportunity to not fuck it up, and The Stains don't even last one song before Corinne's sister and cousin flee the stage, leaving her up there alone to insult the audience - after all, she always was the outspoken one of the gang - in a way too skimpy outfit and sporting a wild hairstyle.

After this performance, the career of The Stains seems to be over before it has begun - but then the bassplayer (Vince Welnick) of Metal Corpse dies, and for some reason, Corinne is believed to be his girlfriend - and she makes the most of it, not only confirming the essentially false assumption but also promoting herself and her band, and of course her extravagant looks and skimpy outfit, coupled with her pseudo-punk attitude and predilection for oneliners sure help making her recongizable character.

After Metal Coprse quit the tour, The Looters are promoted to headliners and The Stains become their regular support band, but from show number two onwards, The Stains draw the bigger crowds, crowds of girls that share Corinne's pseudo-punk, fuck-the-world attitude, copy her style, and call themselves Skunks. She also becomes a TV celebrity in the stretch of land she and her girls are touring.

Eventually, Corinne gets friendly with The Looters' frontman Billy (Ray Winstone) and the two have an affair - which is quickly over when she learns he was asking his manager Robell (David Clennon) for another support act. It was all just a misunderstanding, but makes her irreconsolably angry at him - and from now on she starts to steal his songs, his performance, his everything. She even convinces his manager that The Stains are to become the headliners of the tour with The Looters supporting them.

However, there is one thing Corinne hasn't realized, that The Stains, at least in the way they are promoted, are nothing but a gimmick band that run on a few oneliners and the highly artificial "skunk"-movement, and when opening for them at their biggest venue yet, Billy steals a page from Corinne's book and insults the audience, but also opens their eyes to the artificiality of The Stains, as a product rather than an actual band ... and when The Stains finally come on stage, they are booed off by their own fans.

In the very end, Corinne and Billy reconcile, and he even invites her to join him for the rest of the tour, but she refuses to travel with him as just another groupie.

Even The Stains seem to have a sort-of afterlife, on record and as a perfectly ironed out pop-band that has nothing left of the band's former pseudo-punk attitude.

 

About this film I am of two minds: On one hand, it does a great job portraying the seediness of life on the road of a musician, and does a great job in caricaturing different strains of characters among rock musicians without ridiculing them. And Diane Lane in an early role (she was merely 17 when she made this) gives a quite compelling performance as well.

On the other hand though, the film's plot as a whole comes across a bit too simplified and too heavy-handed, as most of its twists and turns are rather on the blunt side and fail to be wholly convincing.

All that said, as a piece of rock music nostalgia, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains is at least worth a look and better than a good bunch of other movies of its ilk.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
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special appearances by
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directed by
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written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

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Robots and rats,
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Tales to Chill
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Tales to Chill
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the new anthology by
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