If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?

USA 1971
produced by
Estus W. Pirkle, Monnie Stanfield for The Ormond Organization
directed by Ron Ormond
starring Estus W. Pirkle, Judy Creech, Cecil Scaife, Gene McFall, Wes Saunders, La Quinta Scaife, Jim Rose, Billy Kent, Jimmy Little, Carl Haselton, Joe Scaife, Nathan Blackwell, Max Cannon, Bell Kent, Bondy Kent, Greg Pirkle, H.C. Godfrey Curtis Barbery, Glenda Gregory, Bennie Hagle, Carolyn Hudipeth, Sam Davis, Caroll Chism, Keith Miller, Linda Miller, Pat Adams, Charlene Garrison, Johnny Cowart, Woodrow Barnes, Benny Hall, P.E. Moffitt
screenplay by Ron Ormond, based on the book by Estus W.Pirkle

Ron Ormond's religious features

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Judy (Judy Creech) is a loose girl, a girl who likes to hang out with guys, likes to dance, party, and who goes to church on only an irregular basis, and that only to please her dead mother. This Sunday, she has chosen to pay a visit to the local church though, and arrives just in time to hear preacher Estus W.Pirkle's sermon about the evils of Communism.

According to preacher Pirkle, the main focus of Communism is the sadistic torture and killing of Christians, and working its subject to death 363 days of the year (2 days are reserved for praising Communism). And that you can catch this disease called Communism by watching TV, dancing, and of course not going to church at least once a day. Of course, he casually forgets to mention the fact that the church apparently wants to this way make sheep out of its followers, just like he accuses the Commies of doing.

Eventually, preacher Pirkle tells the story of a whole parish being shot dead by the Commies after in one go, and still a little boy who just saw his parents slaughtered by them stands up for Jesus - and is of course shot, too. This is when Judy has an epiphany, and promises to give her life to Jesus our saviour in front of the whole congregation ...

Very probably the crudest and bluntest anti-Communist propaganda film I have ever seen - heck, I have yet to see Communist propaganda-movie half as blunt. The whole point of this film is of course that it has no point: It says Communism is bad and takes that as a given. Communism as such is never even discussed, the good preacher just retells a few exaggerated stories about the horrible Commies to his congregation, stories that are dramatized by newly reborn Christian Ron Ormond set in a typical American neighbourhood. This dramatizations though put an emphasis on the drastic and show torture and gore in some detail.

However, preacher Pirkle's version of Christianity is equally crude, it is (according to this film) not based on actual deeds but on going to church often and holding on to a conservative set of mores that don't necessarily have much to do with Christianity at all.

In all the film will probably have done nothing to convert one person to Christ or get one person away from Communism, it's made by a preacher to confirm his flock of yeasayers who are just supposed to be confirmed in their (misguided) beliefs, while the rest of the world will probably laugh at it - and rightly so, this film is a hoot, a great collection of unintentional humour!

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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