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Horror of the Blood Monsters
Vampire Man of the Lost Planet / Space Mission to the Lost Planet

USA 1970
produced by
Sam Sherman for Independent International
directed by Al Adamson, Rolf Bayer (Filipino footage)
starring John Carradine, Robert Dix, Vicky Volante, Joey Benson, Jennifer Bishop, Bruce Powers, Fred Meyers, Britt Semand
written by Susan McNair, music by Mike Velarde

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Earth, the prologue tells us, is overrun by vampires, who do come from outer space. As a reaction to this fact, scientist John Carradine assembles a motley crew & they plan to take a rocketship to the planet fo the vampires ... 

If you do now think, this is going to be a rip-off of Terrore nello Spazio (Planet of the Vampires) ... well, you are wrong, because the prologue has no effect on the rest of the movie, which now plays more like Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet, with footage from a foreign (Filipino) film, Tagani (1965, Rolf Bayer), mixed & mashed together with originally shot footage with an ageing horror star (Carradine in this case). The story in fact tells about the rocketship crashlanding on some planet that seems to just have been floating around & there they meet some dinosaurs, cavemen (with some of them having a snake grow out of their shoulders, others having fangs), batmen & crabmen, to name just a few of the highlights. They also meet a woman with who they can talk thanks to some advanced brain surgery & who is the link to the Filipino-cavemen-footage, giving explanations about the war her tribe is in, with more Filipino-footage showing just that. In the end, 2 of the crew are killed, the others have to escape in a hurry because the spectrum-radiation is eating up their red  blood corpuscles - the same radiation in fact that seems to have tinted all the footage in different primary colours (fact is, the Filipino movie was black & white, but, this being 1970, Independent International did want a colour movie & this is what they came up with (!)).

In between, we actually see the crew of the earth's control center having futuristic sex (this being, as it seems, having regular sex wearing headsets).

 

Despite all the shortcomings - which you might have guessed from above synopsis - this is a somehow endearing movie, the strangely tinted Filipino footage being a hoot all by itself, the very incoherent story (especially parts about the vampires & the future sex which bear no connection to the actual story) being just the icing. A film firmly rooted in pulp fiction, & doing greatly at that.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!

 

 

 

On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide
WHICH IS WORSE!!!

 

A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
starring
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD