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Holla if I Kill You

USA 2003
produced by
Jeff Carroll, Stanley Neron for Polonia Brothers, New Arena Pictures, RBG World Promotions
directed by John Polonia, Mark Polonia
starring Mike Troy Smith, Mike Yard, Wil Sylvince, Arnold Acevedo, Mia Amber Davis, Brad Lowery, Katrina Hill, Kareem Green, Pedro Orlando, Joey B., Stanley Neron, Leonard Smythe, Jay Phillips, Berthina Perez, Andre Murray, Jerry E.Ford, Harris Stanton, William Lewis Wexler F.O.B., Robert Stapleton, Kenny Williams, John Polonia, Tina Thomas, Jeff Carroll
written by Jeff Carroll, John Polonia, music by Romanieo Golphin, Jon McBride, Stan Smith, special effects makeup by J.K. Farlew

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Available on DVD!

To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat (commissions earned)

Always make sure of DVD-compatibility!!!

Holla (Mike Troy Smith) is pretty much the least talented comic on New York's black standup comedian circuit, and if he gets a gig at all, it's out of pity because usually his act falls flat within a minute or so.

One day at a club, Michael Africa (Kareem Green), for whom Holla has just been opening, who is Holla's worst enemy and who has gotten into an argument with Holla after the show, is found murdered. Holla himself was too drunk at that time to remember what he has been doing at the time of the murder, but nobody even suspects him anyways.

The next day, the club opens again, basically because its owner Fitz (Arnold Acevedo) thinks the murder is great publicity, and he tells his comedians to weigh in on the murder. Holla gets another chance to appear, but again he blows his act. Pretty much all of the comics and employees at the club make fun of him (and deservedly so), but then Holla is knocked out and somebody kills the others, one by one. When Holla comes to, he finds himself on a virtual battlefield, or in a slaughterhouse, and in the midst of it all sits his wannabe-girlfriend Rose (Mia Amber Davis), still alive. She admits she has killed all those people because she was afraid Holla was getting so big - fat chance - he would forget her like all the others did, so she killed everybody who she thought could help Holla on his way up ... but now when Holla refuses to finally become her boyfriend, she just kills him as well ...

 

A serialkiller murder mystery, made on a shoestring - and quite honestly, the lack of budget shows here, as the Polonias simply aren't capable enough filmmakers to gloss over their limited funds - but that essentially makes Holla If I Kill You rather likeable, it's got a charming raw, homemade quality to it that above everything else feels very honest. On top of that, the film features some very nice routines by black standup comedians, and Mike Troy Smith as Holla is pretty good, acting-wise, while his performances as standup are so bad it's hilarious.

That all said, Holla If I Kill You is hardly the best film ever, but rather an unpolished no budget gem that at least deserves some attention.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!