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15th century, somewhere: Carl (Paul Lieber) works in a prison colony
that is also a church when he one day discovers among the convicts his
thought lost girlfriend Nadja (Judith Israel), who has been convicted to
death for killing her own baby child she conceived in a rape - a crime she
didn't even commit. Desperate to save her, Carl turns to the prison's
head, chaplain Guru (Neil Flanagan), who actually promises to save the
girl by faking her death - under the condition that Carl for the next
three months does whatever he, Guru, wants. Without any other choice, Carl
agrees - not knowing that his work for Guru would include stealing the
dead bodies of executed convicts and shipping them to scientists around
the country.
But that's only one line of evilness Guru is in, he also likes to
personally kill those who are in need of help and turn to him, he keeps
vampire Olga (Jaqueline Webb) as his mistress, and he seems to have a
spli9t personality or be possessed or something (this aspect of his
personality is only once hinted at without consequence for the rest of the
movie.
Eventually, Nadja, whom Guru really has saved, grows suspicious about
the goings-on in Guru's prison, especially after two priests (Frank
Echols, Jeremy Brooks) seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth
after having had a meeting with Guru, but with Carl away delivering some
corpses, the only one Nadja can turn to is Igor (Jack Spencer), Guru's
hunchback assistant, but when he turns against Guru and Olga, Guru soon
enough decides to torture him by nailing one of his hands to the wall and
cutting his tongue out with scissors. Then Guru is lusting for Nadja, and
when Olga is overcome by jealousy, he has to kill her. Before he can even
lay a hand on Nadja though, Carl returns and Igor shows there is still
enough spirit in him to have revenge on his master. In the end though Irog
has to die a hero's death while Carl sets the score right by hanging Guru
who has attempted to make a daring getaway ...
By and large, Andy Milligan has been described as a terrible filmmaker,
and Guru the Mad Monk is able proof of this claim: Direction and
camerawork are totally plain and impersonal to the hilt, the script is
nothing short of super-silly, the actors are uniformly third rate (at
best), and the production values are way too low for a period piece.
That all said, Guru the Mad Monk is also great fun, maybe
Milligan's funniest: Some of the props - especially Guru's bishop's head
visibly and audibly made from paper - are laugh-inducingly cheap, the
actors are hilariously over-the-top, the outside-shots are obciously done
next to a busy street so the soundtrack contains many a car noise, and the
script and dialogue alone are pure fun in their silliness. Add to this a
direction that seems to avoid atmosphere at all cost, to an extent that
the film has a mood all of its own and background music that never seems
to fit what's going on on-screen and you have got one fantastic piece of
trash - not a good film, mind you, but still great fun, if (maybe) for all
the wrong reasons.
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