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Dos Tipos Duros

Spain 2003
directed by Juan Martínez Moreno
starring Antonio Resines, Elena Anaya, Jordi Vilches, Rosa María Sardà, Manuel Alexandre, Pedro Beitia, Fele Martínez, Joan Crosas, Jaime Blanch, Mariola Fuentes, Antonio Gamero, Alfredo Díaz, Emilio Gavira, Luca Yexi

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Paco (Antonio Resines) is a small fry crook, dabbling in debt-collecting, kidnapping & the occalsional hit. But since he's not all tha good in his job he owes a considerable sum to mobster Don Rodrigo (Manuel Alexandre), who, when Paco can't pay, forces him to take on his moronic, spoilt nephew Alex (Jordi Vilches) as apprentice.

Since Paco doesn't really know waht to do with the boy, he takes him to Reme's (Mariola Fuentes) whorehouse, where the boy gets his first you-know-what with lovely young Tatiana (Elena Anaya), while Paco is hired by sleazy Gumersindo (Antonio Gamero) to kidnap the wife of one of his clients, for 300.000 Euros. Everything seems to be turning out ok for Paco, but really that's when the troubles start: First Alex decides to take the prostitute Tatiana with him, then decides he wants to participate in the kidnapping, & Tatiana soon wants a part in it too. When after muchos chaos the trio manages to kidnap their victim, intimidated Aramis (Rosa María Sardà), it turns out she is not the offpring of a rich family after all and soon Paco has pity & even falls in love with her. He soon finds out that his employee himself, Gumersindo, is really her husband, & just took Paco as a scapegoat to conveniently get rid of his wife. When  he offers Paco money if he kills Aramis, Paco refuses & sets her free, even shows her his face.

The next day, Paco goes to Aramis' butchershop, just to see if she's alright ... but nothing is alright since the meat he has bought at the shopp proves to be Gumersindo's hand (!), & atiana, who sees Aramis for the first time, tells Alex & Paco she's not a timid female butcher at all but a big-time mobster, who is involved in pretty much every crime in town. & soon too Aramis & her thugs are after Paco, Alex & Tatiana, while another big-time mobster, Rinaldo (Jaime Blanch) is after Tatiana as well, as she is his stepdaughter who had once not only refused his advances but also blown away his balls ... Learning that, Paco wants to part ways with her ... until he learns she's his daughter #(which in the end proves to be a lie, though.

To get them all out of this mess, Alex decides to go to his uncle Rodrigo, ignorant to the fact that he is in cahoots with Rinaldo & Aramis, & they want to open the town's biggest brothel, so there's little space for Rodrigo's nephew & his partners in crime who have fucked up ...

Paco, Alex & Tatiana are all draghged off to different places & brutally tortured, but Alex somehow manages to escape his torturers, free Paco too, & together they plan to infiltrate the soon-to-open brothel where Tatiana is held, tied to a bed - even if infiltrating the brothel includes for Alex to dress up as a girl & do a gogo-dancing routine. However they manage to shoot their way through the gangsters, free Tatiana, shoot Rinaldo & Aramis & even snatch two suitcases worth 1 million Euros each ... but then they are stopped by Don Rodrigo who has wisely kept to the sidelines during all the action & now takes the suitcases from them - but Alex, in  a stroke of genius, gives his uncle a handgrenade as a farewell present with the money and ... boom !

& in the end it proves that Tatiana had a key to a locker where Rinaldo kept another million with her all the time - in her vagina, actually, so in an unbelievable plottwist it turns out she didn't have sex with Alex after all - & our heroes get at least some reward for their efforts.

 

While the story might sound pretty violent - & it is, too - this is actually meant to be a comedy, & some of the jokes & plottwists are actually pretty funny. However, the whole finale, including an ironic shoot-out, a barroom brawl & even Alex's crossdressing, are just too clichéd to bring the movie to a satisfying ending, & are - especially compared to earlier scenes in the movie - rather a disappointment.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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written by
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produced by
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