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Cyclone
Tornado / Terror Storm / Ciclón

Mexico / USA / Italy 1978
produced by
René Cardona jr (executive) for Corporación Nacional Cinematográfica (= CONACINE), Productora Filmica Real
directed by René Cardona jr
starring Andrés García, Hugo Stiglitz, Carroll Baker, Arthur Kennedy, Lionel Stander, Mário Almada, Olga Karlatos, Stefania D'Amario, Al Coster (= René Cardona III), Milton Rodríguez, Carlos East, Ricardo Carrión, René Cardona, Jorge Victoria, Ricardo Noriega, Alejandro Ciangherotti, Estela Piquer, Edith González, Erika Carlsson
written by René Cardona jr, Carlos Valdemar, music by Riz Ortolani

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Desaster movies were always a genre that might lead to desastrous results.

Mainly it's just a mix of has-beens and B-actors protraying cardboard characters telling the audience how bad they are and having dialogues you have heard a thousand times before better. But if the stars of the movie are Arthur Kennedy, Carroll Baker, Lionel Stander, Hugo Stiglitz and Olga Karlatos, but promises a bit of cannibalism, one might get the idea that this film is really a mess ... and in this respect it does not disappoint.

 

The plot: Due to a cyclone, a tourist boat, gets lost on the high sea, and soon they take on board the passengers of an airplane that had to make an uncomfy waterlanding and the crew of a smuggler boat, which has also sunk.

You soon have the typical cast of characters: the good-looking he-man who tells everybody what to do, the pregnant woman who of course has her baby while on sea, the priest, the woman with the annoying dog (the dog gets eaten by the way), the doctor, the sometimes violent but essentially good-natured sailor, ...

As it happens in these situations, soon enough, food and water get scarce, and first they eat parts of the dog - and try fishing a shark with the rest of it, a stupid idea that desservedly fails. Then people start dying, and at first they try to take bodyparts as bait to catch amybe another shark, but after a time, they start eating the corpses ... all that though is done in relative good taste, good taste of course considering that they are eating human (but dried) flesh.

In the end, a few of our castaways take off in a lifeboat to get help, while the rest of the group manages to sink their ship and are one by one eaten by sharks (the overbudgeted animal horror Jaws was still big back then, remember). But some of them are saved nevertheless ...

 

Now even if my synopsis sounds somewhat interesting, the movie is incredibly boring: Even though it lasts almost 2 hours, none of the characters is in the least fleshed out, they only seem to be mumbling phrases from a desaster movie dialogue construction set, and the actual horrific scenes - the eating of a human and the shark attack - are filmed rather uninterestingly and - since you just can't identify with any of the cradboard-characters - fail to work on an emotional level.

Simply put, there is no point in watching this film.

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

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Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

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Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
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love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
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