Hot Picks

- There's No Such Thing as Zombies 2020

- Ready for My Close Up 2019

- Bone Keeper 2026

- The Backroad 2021

- I Know Exactly How You Die 2026

- Long Time Listener 2026

- Death Cycle 2025

- Extinction: Animals Unite 2023

- What a Wonderful World ... the Wars Drag on 2025

- Blue 2026

- Jamarcus Rose & da 5 Bullet Holes 2026

- BFFs 2025

- Psycho Bot 2026

- Andy Warhol: American Dream 2026

- Denise Castro's Dracula 2018

- Pig Killer 2022

- Contention 2025

- The Deep Dark 2023

- The Kinderhook Creature 2026

- Dream Hacker 2025

- Strings 2026

- Drowned 2026

- Obex 2025

- Dark Distortion 2026

- Demon Squad: Tooth and Claw 2026

- Death Among the Pines 2025

- Bad Voodoo 2026

- Crushed Cats 2025

- Cleaver 3: Maximum Cleavage 2026

- Tha Land of Sometimes 2026

- Bannister Doll Heist 2026

- Water Horse 2024

- Time Hoppers: The Silk Road 2025

- Anacoreta 2022

- Let Dan Go 2026

- The Tasters 2025

- My Submission 2025

- Censor Addiction 2026

- Eat the Rich 2024

- Für Elise 2026

- Exhibition of Evil 2026

- Thera Will See You Now 2025

- Van Life 2026

- Velvicide 2026

- Blood on the Bleachers 2025

- Waltz 2024

- The Hermit 2025

- Horrorbuku 2025

- High Tide 2025

- The House on Hill Street 2025

- The Imp of the Perverse 2025

- Raptus 2025

- Grizzly Night 2026

- Whispers 2025

- Incorporeal Man 2025

- The House on Haunted Grounds 2026

- This Thing of Ours 2002

- Bluetooth Speaker 2025

- Talk of the Dead 2016

- A Killer Conversation 2014

- First Impressions Can Kill 2017

- Star Crash 1979

- Strangler of the Swamp 1946

The Blood Shed

USA 2007
produced by
Brian Jude, Rachel Gordon, Ian Reinhard (executive), Jeremiah Kipp (associate) for Southpaw Pictures
directed by Alan Rowe Kelly
starring Alan Rowe Kelly, Terry M. West, Joshua Nelson, Mike Lane, Susan Adriensen, Sandra Schaller, Brian Juergens, Michael Gingold, Jerry Murdock, Katherine O'Sullivan, Zoe Daelman Chlanda, Kane Manera, Sasha Friedenberg, Victoria Bensen, Stephanie Marracho, Robert Norman, Tom Burns (voice)
written by Alan Rowe Kelly, music by Tom Burns, cinematography by Bart Mastronardi, special effects by Ken Shupe

review by
Mike Haberfelner

Quick Links

Abbott & Costello

The Addams Family

Alice in Wonderland

Arsène Lupin

Batman

Bigfoot

Black Emanuelle

Bomba the Jungle Boy

Bowery Boys

Bulldog Drummond

Captain America

Charlie Chan

Cinderella

Deerslayer

Dick Tracy

Dick Turpin

Dr. Mabuse

Dr. Orloff

Doctor Who

Dracula

Edgar Wallace made in Germany

Elizabeth Bathory

Emmanuelle

Fantomas

Flash Gordon

Frankenstein

Frankie & Annette Beach Party movies

Freddy Krueger

Fu Manchu

Fuzzy

Gamera

Godzilla

Hercules

El Hombre Lobo

Incredible Hulk

Jack the Ripper

James Bond

Jekyll and Hyde

Jerry Cotton

Jungle Jim

Justine

Kamen Rider

Kekko Kamen

King Kong

Laurel and Hardy

Lemmy Caution

Lobo

Lone Wolf and Cub

Lupin III

Maciste

Marx Brothers

Miss Marple

Mr. Moto

Mister Wong

Mothra

The Munsters

Nick Carter

OSS 117

Phantom of the Opera

Philip Marlowe

Philo Vance

Quatermass

Robin Hood

The Saint

Santa Claus

El Santo

Schoolgirl Report

The Shadow

Sherlock Holmes

Spider-Man

Star Trek

Sukeban Deka

Superman

Tarzan

Three Mesquiteers

Three Musketeers

Three Stooges

Three Supermen

Winnetou

Wizard of Oz

Wolf Man

Wonder Woman

Yojimbo

Zatoichi

Zorro

Available on DVD!

To buy, click on link(s) below and help keep this site afloat (commissions earned)

Always make sure of DVD-compatibility!!!



Beefteena Bullion (Alan Rowe Kelly) is different ... well, very different: A woman past her prime, she still acts and dresses like a twelve year-old, she pulls a roadkill-squirrel attached to a cart around as her pet, and she lives deep in the woods, at the site of a long abandoned factory, with her family. But only because she's different, that doesn't give young Andy (Sasha Friedenberg) the right to mock her mercilessly, to an extent that he actually throws her roadkill-squirrel into a nearby brook - at least her brothers (Joshua Nelson, Mike Lane) see it that way and play a game of tug o' war with him as the rope, that ends only when Andy's torn apart ... ouch!

Now one has to admit, Beefteena comes from a very, ummm ... unusual family, a bunch of inbred hillbillies who live mostly from the scrap of others, love roadkill, have at best questionable taste - oh, and they love to kill strangers, they do resort to cannibalism once in a while, and they tend to keep people they don't like in cages to kill them at a later date. But they - Beefteena, her two brothers, their father (Terry M. West), grandma (Robert Norman) and cousin Sno Flakes (Susan Adriensen) - are really there for each other, like all families should but only few are. So when Beefteena falls in love with the very sheriff (Jerry Murdock) who's investigating the disappearance of Andy, they capture him and force him to marry her - even if they have to cut off one of his balls in the process. And when the boss of a modelling company (Zoe Daelman Chlanda) makes fun of Beefteena when she tries to fulfill her childhood dream and become a top model, they abduct her to become the guest of honour of Beefteena's birthday party - a bizarre event that makes one's worst nightmares look like a walk through the park ...

 

Now according to all laws of nature and then some, this movie should have been a deplorable crapfest with no redeeming value whatsoever - and yet this has turned out to be one of the most remarkable pieces of hillbilly horror ever, mainly because unlike so many other directors of this peculiar subgenre Alan Rowe Kelly has tried and succeeded to find a heart in his story, has while by no means supressing it found a way to not overstrain the story's camp factor, and has kept the whole thing light-footed enough without shying away from gore and such to not alienate the casual viewer.

A pretty unusual and yet very nice piece of genre cinema, actually!

 

review © by Mike Haberfelner

 

Feeling lucky?
Want to
search
any of my partnershops yourself
for more, better results?
(commissions earned)

The links below
will take you
just there!!!

Find The Blood Shed
at the amazons ...

USA  amazon.com

Great Britain (a.k.a. the United Kingdom)  amazon.co.uk

Germany (East AND West)  amazon.de

Looking for imports?
Find The Blood Shed here ...

Thailand  eThaiCD.com
Your shop for all things Thai


Thanks for watching !!!

 

 

In times of uncertainty of a possible zombie outbreak, a woman has to decide between two men - only one of them's one of the undead.

 

There's No Such Thing as Zombies
starring
Luana Ribeira, Rudy Barrow and Rami Hilmi
special appearances by
Debra Lamb and Lynn Lowry

 

directed by
Eddie Bammeke

written by
Michael Haberfelner

produced by
Michael Haberfelner, Luana Ribeira and Eddie Bammeke

 

now streaming at

Amazon

Amazon UK

Vimeo

 

 

 

Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
-
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.

 

Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner

 

Out now from
Amazon!!!