The Blood Shed
Brian Jude, Rachel Gordon, Ian Reinhard (executive), Jeremiah Kipp (associate) for Southpaw Pictures
directed by Alan Rowe Kelly
starring Alan Rowe Kelly, Terry M. West, Joshua Nelson, Mike Lane, Susan Adriensen, Sandra Schaller, Brian Juergens, Michael Gingold, Jerry Murdock, Katherine O'Sullivan, Zoe Daelman Chlanda, Kane Manera, Sasha Friedenberg, Victoria Bensen, Stephanie Marracho, Robert Norman, Tom Burns (voice)
written by Alan Rowe Kelly, music by Tom Burns, cinematography by Bart Mastronardi, special effects by Ken Shupe
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Beefteena Bullion (Alan Rowe Kelly) is different ... well, very
different: A woman past her prime, she still acts and dresses like a
twelve year-old, she pulls a roadkill-squirrel attached to a cart around
as her pet, and she lives deep in the woods, at the site of a long
abandoned factory, with her family. But only because she's different, that
doesn't give young Andy (Sasha Friedenberg) the right to mock her
mercilessly, to an extent that he actually throws her roadkill-squirrel
into a nearby brook - at least her brothers (Joshua Nelson, Mike Lane) see
it that way and play a game of tug o' war with him as the rope, that ends
only when Andy's torn apart ... ouch!
Now one has to admit, Beefteena
comes from a very, ummm ... unusual family, a bunch of inbred hillbillies
who live mostly from the scrap of others, love roadkill, have at best
questionable taste - oh, and they love to kill strangers, they do resort
to cannibalism once in a while, and they tend to keep people they don't
like in cages to kill them at a later date. But they - Beefteena, her two
brothers, their father (Terry M. West), grandma (Robert Norman) and cousin
Sno Flakes (Susan Adriensen) - are really there for each other, like all
families should but only few are. So when Beefteena falls in love with the
very sheriff (Jerry Murdock) who's investigating the disappearance of
Andy, they capture him and force him to marry her - even if they have to
cut off one of his balls in the process. And when the boss of a modelling
company (Zoe Daelman Chlanda) makes fun of Beefteena when she tries to
fulfill her childhood dream and become a top model, they abduct her to
become the guest of honour of Beefteena's birthday party - a bizarre event
that makes one's worst nightmares look like a walk through the park ...
according to all laws of nature and then some, this movie should have been
a deplorable crapfest with no redeeming value whatsoever - and yet this
has turned out to be one of the most remarkable pieces of hillbilly horror
ever, mainly because unlike so many other directors of this peculiar
subgenre Alan Rowe Kelly has tried and succeeded to find a heart in his
story, has while by no means supressing it found a way to not overstrain
the story's camp factor, and has kept the whole thing light-footed enough
without shying away from gore and such to not alienate the casual viewer.
pretty unusual and yet very nice piece of genre cinema, actually!