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Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds
Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold

USA 1995
produced by
Fred Olen Ray, Mike Elliott (executive), Roger Corman (executive) for American Independent, New Horizon
directed by Fred Olen Ray
starring J.J. North, Ted Monte, Raelyn Saalman, Tammy Parks, Tim Abell, Jay Richardson, John Lazar, Michelle Bauer, George Stover, Nikki Fritz, G.Gordon Baer (= Peter Spellos), Russ Tamblyn, Ross Hagen, Tommy Kirk, Stanley Livingston, Deborah Dutch, Tony Franco, Jennifer New, Jeff Murray, Jennifer Steven, Tony Clay, Ted Newsom, Jimmy Williams, Claire Polan, Sheri Hicks, Allan Baker, Steve Barkett, Tony Lorea, Forrest J.Ackerman, Jim Wynorski, Brad Linaweaver
writtenm by Steve Armogida, music by Jeffrey Walton, special effects by Steve Barkett

review by
Mike Haberfelner

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Angel (J.J. North) is desperate: She's in competition to become "Plaything Centerfold of the Year" - but she feels her tits are just not big enough. She thinks she has a solution though: An experimental serum developed by Dr Lindstrom (John Lazar) and team (Michelle Bauer, George Stover) that has helped her grow her boobies once ... and she figures if she takes more of the stuff than the doctor recommends, they'll just grow more. Big mistake, not only do her boobs grow, all of her grows - until she's 60 foot tall.

The Plaything publisher (Jay Richardson) finds that great, because let's face it, a 60 foot woman with nothing to wear but a makeshift bikini and willing to pose nude - is there a better promotion for a man's mag? There is one problem though, Betty (Tammy Parks), Angel's fiercest competition for the title "Plaything Centerfold of the Year", has found out about her little secret, and has taken the serum as well - and suddenly there are two 60 foot centerfolds, who get into a catfight right away, a catfight that leads them through half Los Angeles. Fortunately, Wilson (Ted Monte), a Plaything employee, had the good sense to call Dr Lindstrom, and he arrives with the antiserum just in time to get the girls back to normal size before they can cause some major destruction. And as a reward, Wilson gets Angel ...


First of all, this is not a movie to be taken seriously, it's a genre parody based on films like Attack of the 50 Foot Woman carried by ... well, by loads of boobs, actually. And when it comes to making erotic genre spoofs, there are few more experienced than Fred Olen Ray - and you know what, some of his films are genuinely funny. Unfortunately though, despite the great title, Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds is not one of his better films, mainly because while the film is big on boobs (pun inevitable) and there are some really funny situations in here, too, it's less than great on characters (who remain uniformly flat) and the story is a bit too straightforward to hold one's interest, too. Plus, while the special effects are pretty well handled, they are low on destruction of miniature sets we've come to expect and love in a genre movie like this one.

Still, a mildly amusing brainless flick, but nowhere near as much fun as it could have been.


review © by Mike Haberfelner


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Robots and rats,
demons and potholes,
cuddly toys and
shopping mall Santas,
love and death and everything in between,
Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

is all of that.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to
a collection of short stories and mini-plays
ranging from the horrific to the darkly humourous,
from the post-apocalyptic
to the weirdly romantic,
tales that will give you a chill and maybe a chuckle, all thought up by
the twisted mind of
screenwriter and film reviewer
Michael Haberfelner.


Tales to Chill
Your Bones to

the new anthology by
Michael Haberfelner


Out now from




On the same day
a Burglar wants to kill you
and your Ex wants
to make up ...
... and for the life of it,
you can't decide


A Killer Conversation

produced by and starring
Melanie Denholme
directed by
David V.G. Davies
written by
Michael Haberfelner
Ryan Hunter and
Rudy Barrow

out now on DVD